


Polis Department of Criminal Justice

by dykeadellic



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: Clexa, Clexa Week 2019, F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-03
Updated: 2019-09-19
Packaged: 2019-11-08 21:19:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 37,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17988698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dykeadellic/pseuds/dykeadellic
Summary: Clarke's life is going swimmingly until she gets busted selling pot by an undercover cop. Now she is in jail, and one of her cellmates is the enigmatic, charming Lexa Woods. She is beautiful, but she also runs the prison as the Commander. Can Clarke keep from getting involved with her, or is it really as inevitable as it feels?





	1. Welcome to Polis

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on tumblr: thatonewitchwhovapes
> 
> This is my first Clexa fic, and is based off my time in county, and several people's experience in prison. I hope you all enjoy!

Clarke jumped as the steel doors closed behind her and the officer roughly removed the cuffs, ordering all the women to strip down. It was barbaric. The way they made them squat and cough and checked in all their private areas—for drugs they said—made Clarke queasy. She wasn’t meant for this life. This was a mistake. She’d only been selling weed for Christ’s sake. How could that have landed her here?

Clarke tried to stay close to Octavia, whom she’d grown to know in the city jail before they both got sentenced to Polis. Polis Prison, to be exact. Octavia was rough and wild, but she had a soft spot for Clarke and had told her she’d protect her. This wasn’t her first rodeo. She’d had a troubled childhood, one that she didn’t care to talk about. But someone out there loved her. Someone was putting money on her books.

Abby had left Clarke “to rot.” She knew eventually her mother would put money on her books, but for now she was so mad she didn’t want to help. Visits had been nothing but a chance for Abby to lecture Clarke on how she, an amazing art student, had gone so very wrong. Her mom had been in the court room when the judge sentenced Clarke to three years. Hearing her mother’s sobs had been the worst part. It had broken a part of Clarke.

And now here she was, sitting on a bench in classification as they processed her in and gave her a few sets of uniforms, a towel, and general hygiene products, then made all the women strip in front of each other.

When Clarke got her wristband, Octavia checked it and grinned.

“We’re in the same tank. Of course their tanks are big, but maybe we can get a cell near each other. I’ll be there to look out for you, kid,” Octavia smirked.

“I just want to go to sleep. We were on a bus all night, and I’m hungry to boot. But I’m tired of sandwiches,” Clarke complained.

“Polis isn’t like city jail. They have an actual cafeteria. Apparently they make chocolate chip pancakes on Sundays. So the selection will be much better. Chin up buttercup.”

Clarke snorted. “Hard to keep my chin up when I’m wasting three years of my life here.”

Octavia shrugged, and the women were told to follow the officer silently. Not that any of them actually listened.

“Alright, Griffin?” the officer asked and Clarke raised her hand.

“You will be in here-” she pointed into a cell with 4 bunk beds, “And Blake?”

Octavia stepped forward.

“You’ll be in here,” the officer said, pointing to the next cell that was separated from Clarke’s with metal railings. There was no privacy here. 

“Well?” the officer said as Clarke just stood there. “Get in there and meet your cellmates.”

And just like that, Clarke was pushed into the cell. Thankfully they didn’t shut the door behind her. Clarke was beginning to feel very claustrophobic. She could feel a panic attack on the horizon, and she just stood there in the middle of the cell, holding her sheets and blanket, and fighting back tears.

“Clarke!” Octavia hissed, her face pressed against the bars. She was on just the other side of the “wall” from the only empty bed in Clarke’s cell. Bunkmates. 

“Clarke, do you need help?” Octavia asked, ready to climb down from her bunk. But could they be in each other’s cells?

“We got it. I’ll help her,” a commanding voice said from the corner. 

And the lithe, muscular figure of a woman, well tanned with long light brown hair uncurled itself and walked over to Clarke.

“First time here?” she asked, and Clarke numbly nodded.

“Come on, I’ll help you get your bed put together. Cry when no one is awake. That’s considered a weakness here. Some of the women here are going to be here for life. They only find your tears amusing. I’m Lexa,” the woman said as she grabbed Clarke’s bedding and climbed on top of the bunk to put the bed together.

“I’m Clarke, and honestly I’m not even sure why I’m here. But thank you. This is so… different for me.”

“What are you here for?” Lexa asked as she pulled the sheet together and tied it underneath to keep it from slipping. Of course the mattress was like vinyl or plastic or some shit.

“I got busted selling weed out of my house. I had a garage full of plants,” she admitted.

Lexa laughed as she smoothed out the blanket.

“That’s shit, man,” Lexa said as she climbed back down.

“Rule one, trust no one unless they’ve actually done something to earn your trust. Like I said, some of these women are here for life and will shank you as soon as look at you.”

“Rule two, don’t snitch. I don’t care if you just saw someone get jumped. You know absolutely _nothing_. Snitch and you’ll end up being the next one hurt.”

“Rule three, this isn’t as bad as it seems. I got fifteen years, and I’m down to ten. No one has messed with me, and everyone seems to respect me. So stick by me and you’ll be safe. Provided you follow rules one and two.”

Clarke nodded.

“I can do that. I know nothing about nothing,” Clarke reiterated.

Lexa nodded. “Exactly. Now I suggest, as tired as you may be, you wait until tonight to go to bed. It’s Saturday so it’s pretty laid back, but during the weeks you have to stay up. The weekends you can sleep in. But the worst thing is having a cellmate who tosses and turns all night. Don’t be that chick. Wait until after dinner. Otherwise you’ll be too keyed up to sleep.”

Lexa’s voice had a commanding tone, yet it was soothing. She seemed to want to help Clarke, but fifteen years? Before she could stop herself she was asking Lexa what she was there for.

Lexa grinned as she settled back down into her bottom bunk and picked up a book. “Another time, Clarke.” And just like that the conversation was over.

Clarke climbed onto her bunk and looked through the railing at Octavia, who was chatting with her cellmates already. She envied the way Octavia could fit in anywhere. She just had this disarming nature about her. She could make friends anywhere she went, Clarke was sure. But she was also street smart. It made for a good combination in here.

Clarke just sat there on her bunk, doing her best to fight back tears. She didn’t want to be here. She wanted to go home. Three years of this? That was going to drive her up a wall, if they had any real walls in here. It just wasn’t fair.

“Hey, Clarke,” Octavia said, her face pressed against the bars. “You okay, kid?”

Clarke nodded stoically. 

“You know you can call your mom now that we’re here. Would that help? I know it’s rough at first, but remember, kid, you got me. I’m right through these bars. I got your back,” Octavia said sincerely, and Clarke believed her.

All through out city jail Octavia had been there. She’d shared food and coffee with Clarke. They’d done coffee shots until they were giddy. When Clarke was scared she had always been able to turn to Octavia. Clarke decided that when she got out, she wasn’t going to forget about her. She was going to make it so that Octavia could call her. And of course she’d write the other woman.

“Chow time!” came one of the guards’ voices over the intercom, and Clarke scrambled to get down from her bunk for lunch. Octavia was already waiting outside the cell when Clarke made it down.

“Come on, kid, I’m hungry!” Octavia laughed.

They followed everyone else to the dining hall, Clarke taking deep, steadying breaths all the way. Octavia and her got in line, and the girl in front of Octavia started talking to them.

“You two are both new here, right?” the girl asked and Clarke nodded her head.

“Cool. I’m Raven Reyes.”

“Octavia Blake.”

“Clarke Griffin.”

Raven nodded. “I see they put you with the Commander, Clarke. Poor thing.”

Clarke shook her head. “Whose the commander?”

“Lexa Woods. She basically runs this bitch. Either get out of her way or get fucked up. She has a whole gang and everything,” Raven leaned in to whisper to the two women.

“She seemed so nice,” Clarke breathed back.

Raven let out a harsh laugh. “Don’t trust it. Rumor is she worked for the Cartel. I’ve seen her order people to get the shit beat out of them for disrespecting her in the slightest. If I were you, I’d be sleeping with one eye open.”

Clarke shivered and looked back, seeing Lexa further back in line with a collection of other muscular women who seemed pretty intimidating. But Lexa had been so nice…

“Look, I don’t know Woods personally. I just know what I’ve heard and seen this last year. Just be safe. And don’t just trust everyone,” Raven chided.

And okay, so maybe Clarke _did_ need that reminder. She trusted too easily, felt too deeply. It was just part of who she was. Which also got her busted selling weed, so maybe it was high time (pun intended) to change that aspect of herself.

“Well, I’m looking out for this kid,” Octavia huffed, “So she has protection.”

Raven pursed her lips and nodded. “Good. Look out for each other,” was all Raven had left for advice.

When Clarke got her tray of spaghetti with meatballs—which really looked like it was supposed to—she looked around for a place to sit. Her and Octavia stood there a moment before Lexa shouted Clarke’s name and waved her over to a table in the back.

Clarke gave Octavia a wary expression. Trying to communicate telepathically. And it must have worked because Octavia said, “We have to sit with her. If she is Cartel it would be dangerous not to.”

So they walked over to Lexa’s table, taking in the other women who were seated there. One a middle aged black woman had biceps to die for. The women all around looked intimidating. Or maybe that was Clarke’s preconception of them after what she’d heard from Raven.

“So Clarke, this is Indra,” Lexa began, pointing at the bicep lady, “This is Echo, and this little shit is Emori. She’s like my little sister. And sorry,” Lexa said with a abashed smile at Octavia, “I didn’t get your name?”

Octavia jutted out her chin as she said, “I’m Octavia, and Clarke here is like my little sister, too.”

“How long have you two known each other?” Emori asked with a sneer. “Three weeks?”

“Six months, actually,” Clarke leveled.

Lexa glared at Emori. “Enough, sis. Sorry, Emori is a bitch sometimes.”

Octavia shrugged as though to say ‘no harm done,’ and the conversation continued on. Clarke listened, but was much more interested in her spaghetti than any conversation. If this was anything like City, they only had a few minutes to eat, and Clarke did not want to go hungry just because she was too busy chatting.

But Clarke came to a realization as she ate. _This_ was her life now. As much as she disliked it, she needed to accept it in order to move forward. Maybe she’d get parole in six months and be gone. Maybe she wouldn’t. But dwelling on how terrible it was would only make her feel even worse. It was time to accept her fate and make friends.

“Indra,” Clarke began, slightly waving her fork around, “Your muscles are out of this world. Is there actual gym equipment here or how do you manage?”

Lexa peered back and forth between the two women, as though waiting to see how the interaction went.

“They have gym equipment, which can only be used under guard observation. You looking to tone up?” Indra asked.

Clarke shrugged. “I dunno. I’m just looking for a way to pass time.”

Lexa piped up, “There’s education, and you can always get a job. They have a very select few business college classes provided through the local community college here. They also have different groups, so there is always something going on. It’s not so bad. I tend the garden Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. Along with a few other women. Pay is shit, like not even twenty-five cents, but it’s still something.”

“The real question,” Octavia interjected, “is when is commissary? Or can someone commission Clarke for a drawing or two so we can have some damn coffee, because I swear I won’t make it otherwise.”

And Octavia was smiling, but Clarke knew how serious she was. Without coffee, Octavia was basically a dead woman walking. And if they _had_ to stay up during the week like Lexa said, Octavia was going to need caffeine. 

Echo leaned over. 

“Well, I am looking for someone to do a birthday card for my five year old. I’d gladly pay a bag of coffee for it; if it’s good.”

Octavia gave a laugh. “Clarke’s stuff is the best. She’ll need the paper though. And a pencil.”

Echo nodded. “I got you.”

Echo and Clarke talked over what Echo wanted the card to look like. It was pretty simple, and Clarke found herself wondering if adjusting to life in prison would—and could—really be this easy. 

“Chow time is over!” came the guards’ voice as Echo and Clarke were still talking about the birthday card.

Clarke glanced around, not sure what exactly to do. But Lexa was beckoning her forwards, showing her where to put her tray. Clarke was full, and to be honest the food really wasn’t bad. Not like city jail had been where it was more like slop. It wasn’t as good as her mom’s spaghetti and garlic bread, but it really hadn’t been bad.

“I’ll bring the materials to your cell. You’re with Lexa, right?” Echo asked and Clarke nodded.

“See,” whispered Octavia’s voice in Clarke’s ear. “I told you it wasn’t so bad. Already making friends. I’m proud of you, kid.”

And Clarke grinned from ear to ear.


	2. Collect Call

“But what if my mom doesn’t answer?” Clarke whined to Octavia, back in their respective cells as Clarke drew a first draft for Echo’s card. 

“Then you call back another time or day. Trust me, she wants to know you’re okay, kid,” Octavia informed her.

“She’s right you know,” came Lexa’s voice from behind a book.

Clarke sighed. 

“I will. But first, I need coffee to deal with my mom,” Clarke informed them.

After a moment Lexa threw a piece of paper at Clarke—and it had to be Lexa because no one else was in the cell but them—and Clarke threw it back, causing the other girl to giggle.

“No, silly, it’s a note,” Lexa said throwing it back.

Clarke caught it and unsmushed the ball of paper.

_I can give you coffee if you’ll pay me back when you get yours_.

Clarke looked back at Lexa, who was now shaking a bag of instant coffee and nodded. She hopped off her bunk and went over to Lexa’s, quietly asking if Octavia could get a cup, too. Lexa nodded.

“Of course. Girl, when I first got her, Indra took care of me. It helps having people who have your back. I know how lonely it can be. But you’re doing good. Now, you know how to use a hot pot?” Lexa asked, holding up the apparatus that heated up water.

Clarke nodded.

“Go ahead and use this. My name is on top as you can see. I have two extra cups somewhere, so I’ll get them for you and Octavia to borrow. Now go tell your sister the good news!” Lexa said, a smile on her face.

And Clarke was momentarily stunned. This woman was beautiful. She was kind. She was generous. She was so many things in the short two hours Clarke had met her. Surely the nasty rumors Raven had passed on were just jailhouse gossip. Hell, Clarke had heard two women claiming she and Octavia were lovers. How easy would it be to get shit started in this place?

No, Clarke was going to get to know Lexa herself, and form an opinion then. She waved Octavia over to her cell, setting the hotpot on her night stand and plugging it in.

Octavia was there in seconds, squealing and running to hug Lexa who laughed good-naturedly.

“You are the best!” Octavia exclaimed and hurried towards Clarke, sitting on the floor of the cell. Which Lexa had let them know she could totally visit. Only after hours were there no “visitors” from other cells to yours. Lexa was a well of knowledge, and was even offering to let them borrow books if they so desired. It raised Clarke’s spirits.

Echo knocked on the bars to their cell, smiling as she walked in.

“Hey, I know you’re probably still working on it, but I really wanted to see what you had ready for my daughter’s card,” Echo said softly. 

Octavia waved Clarke away, setting up the hotpot while Clarke grabbed the draft.

“This is just a vague outline. But I’m using the pictures of her as a reference to draw a picture of you and her together. I thought that would be cool,” Clarke shuffled her feet, handing the paper over to Echo.

Echo’s hand flew to her mouth, and Clarke looked down as the woman’s eyes became bright with tears. She waited until she thought it was safe and looked back up.

“Clarke,” Echo breathed, “This is perfect! This will be the best card I’ve been able to send yet. Let me throw in a soda, too, so you girls can have coffee shots.”

Clarke beamed. “Thanks, Echo. And any time you need something done for your daughter, let me know. I know this can’t be easy on you, but if I can help, I’d really like to.”

Echo threw her arms around Clarke’s neck and then released her abruptly, seemingly embarrassed. Clarke made no mention of this, and took back the paper she’d given Echo so she had the draft to look at.

“I should have it done this evening. Or tomorrow at the latest,” Clarke told her. 

Echo nodded. “No rush. Her birthday is two weeks away. And it only takes three days for the mail to get to her. Thanks so much, Clarke.”

Clarke nodded, setting the paper on her bed.

“Lexa,” Octavia said, glaring at the hotpot. “Tell this thing to hurry up. I’m dying over here!”

Lexa laughed and set her book down, marking her place first. She stood up and stretched, and Clarke watched the white t-shirt ride up, exposing her taunt stomach slightly.

“I guess I’ll have a cup with you two. It won’t take long, Octavia. But I know how ready for coffee you are,” Lexa teased and grabbed an empty cup, sitting down on the floor with Octavia. 

Clarke plopped down with the two other women, a smile on her face. Octavia was sighing as she wrapped her hands around the hotpot to see if it was hot enough. 

“Remember, this is against the rules; paying you for doing this. So no telling anyone. We’re not _supposed_ to share. But no one really listens to that bullshit,” Lexa explained.

Octavia snorted. “Yeah, that shit is dumb. I’ve never had anyone listen to it in any of the jails I’ve been in, either.”

Lexa nodded, feeling the hotpot herself. “Almost. Anyways, you can have your friends, family, or whoever is out there send you items off a list online now, instead of just depositing money. I have someone just deposit money on my books, but my dad still sends stuff like that sometimes.”

“I wish my mom would send me anything,” Clarke said with a sigh.

Octavia pulled her knees up to her chest, a stain already on her white uniform.

“She will, Clarke. Your mom loves you, and I say that as someone who has talked to her. You just need to give her time to adjust. This is hard on both of you in different ways. Give her time. She’ll come through,” Octavia promised.

Clarke gave her a small smile, and Lexa began pouring hot water in the plastic cups, grabbing her bag of instant coffee and a spoon. Octavia practically cheered, and even though it was black, the coffee made all of them extremely happy. It was hot and strong, and it gave them a semblance of normalcy. 

They chatted while they drank, and when they had drained their cups, Octavia told Clarke to call her mom.

Lexa led Clarke to the phones, a small line queued up for them. But the line seemed to move pretty fast, and Lexa and her were at the phone within several minutes. Lexa showing Clarke how to use them to place a collect call to her mother.

Music played until Clarke heard the voice tell her they were connecting her call. And then came her mother’s voice, loud and clear.

“Clarke, honey!” Abby practically cried.

“Hey, Mom,” Clarke mumbled.

“So you’re in Polis now?” her mother asked.

“Yup. It’s not so bad. Not how I wanted to spend my early twenties, but my cellmates are great so far. And Octavia is in my tank, in the cell next to mine, so I’ve always got someone watching out for me.”

Abby let out a relieved sigh.

“I remember talking to Octavia. I’m glad you have her, Clarke. Just be careful. Not everyone has your best interests at heart. Especially in a place like that!” she berated.

Clarke grimaced. “I know, Mom. I’m being careful. I’m just trying to settle in the way it is. And I don’t have any money to buy anything like deodorant or whatever.”

Abby sighed. “I don’t want you to think I’m going to bail you out of everything, Clarke. You need rough times in order to grow. This should never have happened. If your father was alive, what would he think? And honestly, what were you even thinking? You weren’t raised like that!”

Clarke stifled a groan. “I just wanted some extra money, Mom. I didn’t think, okay? And I know I fucked up. But there’s no way around me being stuck here for awhile. It’d be nice just to have basic supplies and coffee. I’m really trying, and I’m sorry I’ve caused you so much worry and grief. If I could change it all, I would. But I can’t. There’s nothing but to learn to live with it. And I’m hoping you’ll eventually come for a visit. Here I can actually hug you.”

Abby sighed. “I’ll put money on your books, Clarke. And of course I’ll come visit. You just have to wait until I have a weekend off. But I’ll be there. I love you; no matter what you do that will never change. You’re my heart.”

Clarke swallowed. “I know, Mom. I love you, too. And I can wait for you to have a weekend off. I’m not going anywhere for right now.”

Her mom sighed—again. “I know. Wells wants to write you. Is it okay if I give him your information?”

“Of course, Mom. He’s my best friend. I would love to hear from him. And it’d be nice to get a letter from you every now and then. I know you can’t write a lot, but just little notes would be nice. And maybe some pictures.”

“Okay, babygirl. You got it. Wells really misses you, Clarke. I really miss you. I might bring Wells with me when I do come. If that’s okay,” her mom asked hesitantly.

“Of course! I would absolutely love that. And I miss you too, Mom. A lot. But I need you to know that I am okay. And I will continue to be okay. It’s just an adjustment. For all of us.”

“That it certainly is,” Abby said resentfully. “But as long as you’re okay…”

“I am, Mom,” Clarke assured her. “Really. I’m just tired right now. But I’m okay. Like I said, I have a good group of women here. And I’m going to get into the education program. They have business classes, and I’m going to take advantage of that. That way I can maybe get my own gallery set up one day.”

“I’m glad you’re going to be doing something productive with your time there. This could be a major learning experience if you let it. And it can also teach you how to deal with people from all different backgrounds. That’s an important skill to have,” her mom lectured. But Clarke knew it was from a place of love.

The voice came on to tell them they had one minute left, and Clarke sighed.

“I love you, Mom. When do you want me to call again?”

“Try Wednesday morning. And I love you, too, sweetheart. Behave and be careful!” Abby ordered. 

And then they were disconnected and Clarke hung up the phone with a small sigh, missing her mom already.

Lexa walked with Clarke back to their cell, not saying much offering strength in her silence. Octavia was back in her own cell, getting her stuff together for a shower. But Clarke didn’t feel like talking to anyone just then. So she climbed back on her bunk and worked on Echo’s card.

The time melted away, and finally Clarke was done with the card. She felt drained, as she always did after a project. But it was a good feeling. Like she had poured all her emotions into her art and could finally breathe again.

“Hey, Lexa?” Clarke asked.

Lexa set down her book. “Yeah?”

“When is dinner? I wanted to know if I had time to take a shower.”

Lexa glanced at the clock on the wall before responding. 

“Dinner is at five, and it’s three thirty so you should be good. Want to borrow some bath soap? I know the kind they give you when you come in absolutely sucks,” she said with a roll of her eyes and a shake of her head.

“I would love that, Lexa,” Clarke said hopping off her bunk. Lexa dug in a trunk that she pulled out from under her bed and gave Clarke soap, shampoo, and deodorant.

“Keep the deodorant. I don’t use that one as it kinda sucks, but it’s better than you having nothing. And I recommend not changing your clothes yet. Wash is only done Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. So you’d be down on a uniform. And if you’re done with Echo’s card, I’ll give it to Octavia and take her to Echo to get the coffee if that’s cool,” Lexa said.

“Thanks, Lexa. And that is definitely cool.”

Lexa nodded and Clarke meandered over to the showers, glad that there was at least a shower curtain on them for some semblance of privacy. She turned the shower on, enjoying that at least here there was hot water. She sighed as the water hit her back, loosening her muscles and relieving the tension she’d been putting on herself without even realizing it. But that’s how it always was. Clarke internalized everything until it made her sick. But she didn’t need to do that to herself. Not here, where being sick was a bad thing. She needed to let it all go.

Clarke soaped up, thinking about how kind Lexa had been so far. She hadn’t even been there a whole day and Lexa was already helping her. Could someone so fierce and in charge of the jail really be kind? Or was it just bullshit rumors about Lexa? Clarke didn’t know what to think. She decided—as she washed her hair—that she would take everything one day at a time. She didn’t know Lexa, so she shouldn’t judge her. She was going to give the woman time to prove who she was. That was the best route.

Clarke turned the water off and toweled herself dry, grabbing her clothes from off the sink and putting them on. She was hungry and ready for dinner. And maybe to have another cup of coffee with the girls.

Raven was standing there brushing her hair, and she turned to look at Clarke.

“Hey, girl. I see you and your friend have gotten cozy with the Commander.”

Clarke shrugged. “I won’t be rude to her. She has been nice to me. I’ll let her actions decide how I treat her.”

Raven paused a moment then nodded. “That is probably the best thing you can do. People can change. I’ll see you around, Clarke,” she said before she took her leave.

Clarke gave a half smile, wondering just what she was getting herself into with these women.


	3. Coffee Shots

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to follow me on tumblr at: thatonewitchwhovapes
> 
> Sorry for the late update! I've been busy. Please comment or leave kudos if you liked this!

Saturday was apparently late night, as Clarke was informed at the table during dinner. So of course it meant everyone would be up and loud, and Clarke would be unable to go to sleep early. She groaned at this. Lexa chuckled at her, and Octavia simply shook her head. 

“I just want to sleep. Is that so wrong?” Clarke demanded.

Octavia shoved a fry in her mouth and shrugged.

“And I’m sure half the girls here are wanting to get laid, but it ain’t happening. Put the covers over your eyes to block out the light,” Indra suggested.

“I just can’t sleep easily with noise. It’s really fucking difficult for me,” Clarke tried to explain.

“Well you better learn how to deal with it if you want sleep around here on the weekends,” Indra said bluntly. There were nods all around the table.

“You know,” Lexa said, biting into her burger, “They sell earplugs on commissary. When you get some money on your books you can buy them. They work really well, actually.”

“When is commissary?” Octavia asked through a mouthful of fries.

“Tuesday we place orders, Wednesday we get it if not Tuesday. So soon,” Indra answered, as Lexa was biting eagerly into her burger.

“How do you know if someone put money on your books or not?” Clarke asked.

“There’s a kiosk that you can check it on back in the tank. I’ll show you,” Lexa answered.

Clarke nodded, polishing off her fries, which were really tasty. And they actually had salt on them. Salt, for the first time in six months. Clarke felt like she could faint from happiness. Real food was amazing. How had she lived so long without it?

“You look,” Emori said pointing at Clarke and trying not to laugh, “Like you’re having an orgasm.”

“With the slop in city and county can you really blame her?” Echo responded. 

Clarke laughed and Octavia snorted. Because it was true, and Clarke was learning not to be so self-conscious. She was going to be around these women for awhile. Might as well make friends and not take everything so seriously.

“So, coffee shots after dinner so I don’t turn into a whiny mess?” Clarke asked Octavia, thinking of the two cokes Echo gave them on top of the coffee.

“Hell yeah!” Octavia said, fist bumping Clarke who had to laugh.

“Don’t let your bunkie hear you say that,” Lexa warned, a smile on her face.

“Who?” Clarke asked.

“Stephanie. She is awesome, but she can do coffee shots like no one’s business. And she has her own coffee and soda. She’ll do at least three if she sees you two doing one. But she is pretty cool. Her old bunkie and her used to always start their day with a coffee shot,” Lexa explained.

Octavia swallowed and asked, “What happened to her old bunkie?”

Lexa answered. “She got paroled. Went home and went back to school for computer programming. She still writes Stephanie and sends pictures. She’s doing really well from what Stephanie has said.”

This gave Clarke hope. If someone else could make it through this, get paroled, and go back to a normal life then why couldn’t she do the exact same thing? What was stopping her?

They dumped their trays when the guard announced chow time was over, and Clarke walked with the girls back to her cell, Lexa stopping her to show her the kiosk that they could check their commissary balance on.

That evening was like a little party. Clarke and Octavia did do coffee shots, and Stephanie did show up and join them, laughing loudly and lounging about in her sports bra. And Lexa hadn’t been lying; Stephanie had done four coffee shots to their one. 

But it was nice, and Stephanie let Clarke sit on her bed instead of climbing up the bunk. They all enjoyed themselves, and their cell seemed to be the center of attention. Lexa made a spread with Stephanie’s help, and they shared it with Clarke and Octavia.

The rest of their cellmates appeared after long. A woman named Angela was above Lexa, and on the bottom of one of the other beds was a pregnant woman named Cynthia. Cynthia didn’t really speak English, and she mostly stayed to herself because of this. 

Next came Deidre, a black woman who looked to be in her thirties. And below her was a woman named Lynn, who seemed eager to join the festivities. Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. And it really wasn’t a bad time. But Clarke found her eyes constantly drawn to Lexa. She was sitting with her back against Stephanie’s bed, so Clarke couldn’t get a view of her face. But her hair was beautiful. Considering this was prison and they didn’t have the best products, Lexa had awesome hair.

Indra came by and handed a pair of ear plugs to Clarke. 

“It might not help now, but I had an extra pair,” she said gruffly.

Indra was a hard woman, but the gesture warmed Clarke’s heart.

“Thanks, Indra,” Clarke said, clutching the ear plugs in her hand.

And the night carried on, with more coffee shots and lots of laughter. Sometime around ten, Clarke told everyone she _had_ to sleep, and she used the ear plugs and a homemade eye mask Lexa had. She was out as soon as her head hit the pillow. Her last glimpse of the day, that of Lexa smiling up at her.

When Clarke woke up the lights were still off, and it was very quiet besides the rusting of a newspaper. Clarke sat up, taking off the eye mask. The ear plugs had fallen out sometime during the night. Sitting in the day room area reading the paper was Lexa. Clarke squinted at the clock; it was only four in the morning. Clarke wanted to go back to sleep, but she found herself drawn to Lexa. So quietly as she could, she hopped off the top bunk, picked up the cup Lexa had given her, scooped instant coffee into it, and went to see if Lexa had the hotpot going. 

When Lexa looked over at Clarke and smiled, gesturing for her to join, Clarke felt… well, she wasn’t quite sure what she felt. But it was something.

“Got any hot water?” Clarke mumbled, rubbing her eyes to wake herself up the rest of the way. 

Lexa grabbed her hotpot and poured hot water into Clarke’s cup. Clarke inhaled the scent of coffee before sipping at it.

“Sleep okay?” Lexa asked.

Clarke nodded. “I was so damn tired. I’m still a little tired, but it’s nice to be up when no one else is,” she explained.

Lexa nodded. “I agree. And I’m glad you’re up because I wanted to talk to you. I know I might seem… I’m not trying to suggest Octavia’s caring for you is a farce, but when I first got here, I met a woman. Her name was Costia. She was there for me in every way and I trusted her. But she used me in the end, and I didn’t realize it until it was too late. So if I seem abrupt when someone speaks to you, I’m sorry. I just… I don’t want anyone to go through what I went through. Because it hurts, badly. And you’re sweet and pretty and… people try to take advantage of women like that, and that’s the last thing I want to see happen to you. So if I’ve overstepped any boundaries, I apologize.”

Clarke was taken aback. But Lexa’s voice—and eyes—held so much sincerity. It was easy to believe she was just trying to look out for Clarke. _And she thinks you’re pretty,_ the voice in her head practically sang.

“Lexa, you’re fine; really. I appreciate that, and it means a lot to me. I’ve mooched off Octavia for six months, so I don’t mind sharing with her. She kept me fed and coffee’d up in city. But thank you. You’re fine.”

Clarke sipped her coffee some more, face heating up as she kept thinking of Lexa calling her pretty. 

“Is there a tv?” Clarke asked abruptly. Even in city there had been one, yet Clarke hadn’t seen one here.

“Yeah, it’s in the ‘official day room.’ This is just where we mingle early morning, late nights. We vote on what to watch, and documentaries are voted for most often, if you can believe that. Especially true crime ones. And I think we’re finally done with watching Harry Potter every time it comes on. Stephanie’s old bunkie would drive us nuts with that!” Lexa snorted and picked up her own cup, taking a gulp of coffee.

Clarke stifled a yawn, taking another sip of coffee. She was semi-debating whether or not she wanted to crawl back into bed. It was more comfortable than the city jail’s beds. And it had been so nice to sleep. But here was a chance to just talk to Lexa, and Clarke couldn’t pass that up.

“So you’ve been here five years?” Clarke found herself asking.

Lexa nodded. “I’m hoping to parole in three more, but we will see. It’s really not as bad as you’d think. It’s not home… but it’s home away from home. A shoddy one, but you still eat, and there’s a heater and air. And you don’t have to be alone with your thoughts if you don’t want to.”

Clarke felt brave enough—and that her coffee was cool enough—to take a gulp, enjoying the warm liquid that brought her energy. Nectar of the Gods, Octavia called it, and Clarke had to agree.

Clarke heard feet shuffling, and looked over to see Octavia yawning and walking towards them, her cup held out. Clarke chuckled and went and got Octavia a scoop of coffee, and Lexa gave her hot water. The moment she began to drink the coffee she seemed to liven up.

“Clarke, you must have been exhausted. I don’t know how you slept through all that noise. It was insane. Fun, but insane. That Stephanie chick can do coffee shots with the best of them,” Octavia informed her.

Lexa chuckled. “I warned you two. She’ll be sleeping through breakfast. She usually does on the weekend.”

“Hell,” Octavia said as she let her head fall onto Clarke’s shoulder, “Once I make store I will, too. I’m not even sure why you two are up. It’s not even five in the morning.”

Lexa shrugged. “I wake up early some mornings. Others I sleep in. But I do tend to get up before most of the women.”

Octavia grunted, which could of meant many things, but was intended to be a sign of understanding.

“I got your ear plugs, kid,” Octavia said suddenly, head popping up. “I woke up at like two and they were about to fall on the floor so I put them under my mattress. So just remind me to give them back, and to get my own if they work so well.”

Clarke chuckled. “Will do. Thanks for looking out for me.”

Octavia shrugged, gulping down pipping hot coffee before she said, “You’re my little sister. Even once you get out. We’re family.”

Clarke was aware of Lexa’s soft smile, and she felt deeply touched by Octavia’s admission that they were more than just friends; they were as good as blood.

“You gonna call Lincoln today?” Clarke asked, referring to Octavia’s boy friend. 

Octavia shook her head. “I called him at eleven last night, so I didn’t have to wait to use the phone. He is putting money on my books. My brother is being a workaholic ass, but he misses me. My mom is on another bender. And Lincoln will visit next weekend. And he is going to call your mom. If she can’t make it for a visit Lincoln will say he is visiting both me and you. So either way next weekend you’ll have a visit. He said it’s time he meets my newest family member anyway.”

“You can do that?” Clarke asked in awe.

It was Lexa who answered. 

“Usually, yes. If the guard is being a real dickhead they’ll say no, but I’ve only seen that happen once in my five years here.”

“’Tavia…” Clarke said looking at her sister, deeply touched. 

Octavia gave a toothy smile before saying, “And if your mom won’t put money on your books today, he’ll put sixty so you can get shampoo, deodorant, some shirts, that sort of thing. I got you on coffee, you know that already. But he wanted you to be able to get comfortable, too.”

Clarke put her head down and wiped her eyes. That Octavia would do so much for her meant the world to her. Octavia rubbed her back as she sniffled a bit.

“On the coffee front,” Lexa began, “I may have a solution for Clarke for this week if she needs it.”

Clarke snapped her head up and looked at Lexa curiously.

“While you were asleep, Stephanie was saying she needed art sent to Kayla, her old bunkie. It’s about to be her birthday. And I told her how awesome you made Echo’s card, and for something similar she is willing to pay a bag of coffee.”

Clarke nodded enthusiastically, and Octavia clapped her on the shoulder with a laugh. 

“I’d be more than happy to do it! Lexa… ‘Tavia… thank you both so much.”

Lexa shrugged and Octavia kissed Clarke’s head in a sisterly manner.

“Now, kid, I’m taking my coffee and I’m going back to bed. I’ll see you at breakfast.”

And with that, Octavia trudged off, and once she was out of earshot, Lexa spoke.

“You were right. She genuinely cares about you. I’m sorry, Clarke.”

Clarke shrugged. “You were acting out of concern. It’s no big deal. It actually means a lot to me that you would worry about someone you just met.”

Lexa smiled. “We don’t switch cellmates very often. So it’s good for us all to look out for one another. And we’ll talk to Stephanie so she can order you that bag of coffee and you can spend the rest of the money on hygiene and clothes.”

“Cool. So what’s going on in the news?” Clarke asked lamely.

“Oh the President is fucking us all, you know, the usual,” Lexa shrugged.

Clarke gave a hollow laugh. “Any chance NASA ever did hear from Oppy?” 

She was hoping to stump Lexa, in a way, but at the same time hoping Lexa would rise to the occasion. And she did.

“Nope. Last message was still ‘My battery is low and it’s getting dark.’ Dude I had emotions over Oppy.”

Clarke groaned. “Me too! May Oppy rest in science heaven with Stephen Hawkings and the other greats.”

Lexa nodded her head and said amen, and they both had to laugh at the sheer absurdity of the situation. Clarke chugged her coffee, still grinning.

“You’re not too bad, Clarke. And I’m proud of you for adjusting so well. It’s not always easy. But it makes life easier when you can adjust quickly,” Lexa said as she skimmed the paper.

Clarke shrugged, and then realizing Lexa wasn’t looking at her said, “Well, if I dwell on the bad, it’ll only make things worse. This is my life now. I have to adjust or be left feeling miserable all the time. And I don’t want to live three years miserable, ya know?”

Lexa nodded. “I do understand. I’ve surrounded myself with a group of women I trust, and who trust me. It makes it a lot easier to be here.”

They sat in silence for a minute, Clarke unabashedly staring at Lexa’s face which was flawless. She was a natural beauty, even with her hair slightly mused up from sleep. She already knew this was dangerous territory. She didn’t need to have feelings for anyone, least of all someone who would be here for possibly ten more years. But that didn’t mean she couldn’t admire Lexa’s physical appearance, did it?

“So besides reading, what can I do? I feel antsy from the coffee,” Clarke finally said and Lexa looked up.

“Right now? Nothing. But once the day starts there are like fifty games in the day room, there is television, we have a track, a gym, a library, and a movie room. Trust me, after being busy during the week, you’ll be glad to have a weekend off.”

They lapsed back into silence, and that was how they stayed until the lights cut on and they were told it was time to eat. 

Clarke put her cup back in her room on her little nightstand and sighed. Another day here, another day down. It was time for pancakes.


	4. Pancake Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long for an update! I am studying Computer Programming, and that has been my focus. But I still am updating! Follow me on tumblr @ thatonewitchwhovapes

Pancakes were good, and the orange juice might have been even better. They all chatted at the table, and even Emori was nice to Clarke today. Octavia was skeptical—Clarke could tell by her bewildered expression when Emori wished them a good morning—but Clarke was pretty sure Lexa had something to do with it, and she was grateful. She didn’t need to make any enemies here so soon. Or at all, really.

Everyone wanted to know how they slept, and really there wasn’t much to say about that. They’d slept. And it had been nice. Octavia said she was going back to sleep right after breakfast, much to Clarke’s dismay. But since sleep would be a luxury here—unlike in city jail where that was all there was to do—Clarke decided to let her friend go back to bed. 

In fact, going back to sleep seemed to be on everyone’s to-do list that morning. After breakfast was over, most of the women crawled back into their beds and put handmade eye masks on to block out the light. Clarke sighed, leaning against the bars and looking over to see Octavia snuggled deep under her covers. Even Lexa was in bed. Admittedly, with a book, but still. Clarke put her eye mask on and decided to join the party of sleepers.

When Clarke woke up, Lexa was gently shaking her. Clarke pulled off the eye mask and sat up, stretching her arms above her head. She looked at Lexa, puzzled.

“The showers are empty since everyone is asleep. Come on. I want to talk to you.”

Clarke hopped off the bunk, grabbed a clean outfit, and followed Lexa with her towel and toothpaste.

Once they got into the bathroom Lexa started stripping her clothes off, and Clarke felt her face burning up. 

“You can use my soap again,” Lexa said as she walked into one of the shower stalls.

Clarke clumsily changed out of her clothes, putting her clean ones next to Lexa’s. 

The shower was nice, and Lexa wanted to tell her about all the women who’d come to speak to Clarke while she’d been asleep.

“Some of them wanted drawings of pictures. Raven Reyes wanted a colored drawing, which should cost more I think,” Lexa’s voice carried over. “You can ask for just coffee, or you can ask for other things. I have a commissary list that you can look over. That way you can space out the money that you spend. I know for a fact Reyes has three unused Speed Sticks. So maybe two sodas and a speed stick?”

Clarke made a noncommittal grunt. She’d really have to look over the prices, as she didn’t know what was a good deal and what wasn’t.

“Or, Reyes cuts hair. So maybe a Speed Stick and a haircut? Of course it’s up to you, but if you make your price too cheap everyone will pimp you out, so to speak. I have the colored pencils and I can loan you a sketch pad. Actually, I don’t draw so you can just have the sketch pad if you want it,” Lexa rambled on as Clarke scrubbed her skin until it was pink.

“I’d love the sketch pad, Lexa. And how do you keep your hair so pretty?” Clarke asked abruptly.

Clarke could hear the grin in Lexa’s voice. “Once every two weeks I use mayo as a conditioner. It helps a lot, and it’s pretty inexpensive. If you want to get some I’ll help you do yours. I love my hair to look nice. Its vanity.”

Clarke pondered this a moment before saying, “I think it’s more of feeling like a woman. We can’t do our nails, for good deodorant we have to use men’s, and there’s just not a lot of stuff to take pride in. So I can see why you’d care so much about your hair.”

Clarke stepped out of the shower, toweling off as Lexa stepped out a moment later.

“Thanks, Clarke. That makes me feel better about taking so much pride in my hair.”

Clarke nodded, shrugging on the clean sports bra. 

“Trust me, I get it. I’m on cloud nine just because there’s hot water here,” Clarke joked.

Lexa laughed and slipped on her slides, waiting for Clarke to finish getting dressed. 

The two talked about the things they missed having all the way back to the cell.

“Can I use your hotpot for another cup of coffee?” Clarke asked and Lexa nodded as she set the sketchpad on Clarke’s night stand.

“Thanks.”

One cup of coffee later, Clarke was hunting down Raven Reyes, who ultimately ended up being in the gym.

“Heard you were looking for me,” Clarke said.

“The Commander actually told you? I’m surprised. Yeah I’ve heard word that your drawings are pretty spot on and very realistic. I want a colored picture of my boyfriend Finn and I. I have pictures of him and I that you can base it off. I want to have it for myself. I think it’d be nice, as he wants the pictures back soon. Think you can do it?” Raven asked as she lifted weights.

Clarke nodded. “Oh, I can do it. What are you willing to pay?”

“What do you need?” Raven asked, setting the weight down and crossing her arms.

Clarke chewed her lip for a second before saying, “I’d like Speed Stick.”

“Done. What else?”

“Maxi pads?” Clarke asked.

“Trying to get hygiene? Smart. Because the pads and tampons here suck. Tell you what, if you’ll make it an entire sketch book page, I’ll throw in tampons too. And I’ll tell everyone where I got it from. This would really mean a lot to me.”

“I get it. We miss our family out there. I’d be glad to do a big one for you. Lexa just gave me a sketch book she used once. I just need some pencils and the pictures. Give me two days at the most,” Clarke said and Raven nodded.

“You got it. Thanks, Clarke. You’re doing really well for yourself so far. Keep your head up. It gets easier.”

And then Raven went back to pumping weights and Clarke took her leave. It was almost time for lunch anyways.

Clarke walked back to her cell to see Octavia in possession of the coffee bag, getting herself another cup. This didn’t bother Clarke. They had shared everything in city. This was the same thing. How many times had she gone into Octavia’s commissary bag to get something then? Too many to count.

Clarke climbed on top of her bunk and sat facing Octavia.

“So far I got deodorant, pads, and tampons coming. For doing art for people. This is totally worth it.”

Octavia nodded. “Good! Lexa let me look over the commissary list. Not sure what I’m going to get. We have a limit of one hundred and fifty dollars a week. And obviously I can’t hit the limit every week. But I’m getting two bags of coffee, stamps, paper, and hygiene supplies. One bag of coffee is our backup. So we’re saving it. Just in case we do run out. And I was thinking, I could buy the soap and shampoo this time, and next time you buy it until we both get regular money on our books. Bellamy should be putting money on today, and every week now. Helps when your brother is a doctor,” Octavia said grinning.

Clarke laughed. “I bet. And that works. I looked over the commissary list too. I want it allll,” she said, gripping the bars and shaking herself.

Octavia snorted. “Well we will work on getting it all. I’ve got at least three years, and I should parole. You got one and a half and then hopefully you’ll parole. Which I don’t see why you wouldn’t, this was your first and only offense.”

Clarke shrugged. “Hopefully. But don’t count your chickens before they hatch. My judge was a real hard ass. But I’ll make due. I got you,” she smiled cheekily and Octavia laughed.

“That you do, kid. That you do.”

There was a rap on the underside of Clarke’s bunk, and she said, “Stephanie?”

Stephanie stood up, smiling and propping her chin up on Clarke’s bed.

“Good morning, or whatever time of day it is,” she said cheerily.

“Morning, Steph,” Clarke responded.

“So, let’s talk prices for art. How much for a black and white card with a picture of me and Kayla drawn on it? I have pictures of Kayla, and I’m here for your viewing pleasure. Just a… thinking of you, kinda card.”

“What do you have?” Clarke asked.

Stephanie chewed her lip, contemplating before she said, “I could do a half a bag of coffee and a half a bag of caramel cappuccino.”

Clarke looked at Octavia who nodded. Cappuccino and coffee went well together.

“Wait,” OCtavia said as she grabbed a hold of the bars. “Which coffee? The Columbian or the plantation? Cuz one is ninety cents.”

“Columbian. The more expensive one. And, just to sweeten the deal, 15 sweeteners for the coffee. If you can get it done today… I’ll let you have some creamer too. It won’t be a whole lot, but it should hold y’all until commissary comes,” Stephanie said.

“Deal,” Clarke said and they shook on it.

Stephanie rummaged around on her own nightstand before handing Clarke several pictures of a smiling blonde. She was pretty, with light blue eyes and a mischievous grin.

“She’s pretty, Steph,” Clarke said, glancing at the other woman before.

“She said she is going to come visit next weekend, so I’m excited,” Stephanie said clapping her hands together. 

Lunch time was called, and Clarke slid the pictures under her mattress to keep them from getting bent. She’d work on the card after, then work on Raven’s drawing. And then see who else wanted to hire her. Clarke had a feeling she was going to be spending a lot of time drawing.

The fish sandwich for lunch was good, and Octavia and Clarke spent a lot of time going over what they wanted to get with their commissary money. Lexa sat talking to Emori, who seemed rather down. But Lexa was providing emotional support, and Clarke didn’t want to be nosy, so she kept to herself and Octavia.

After lunch Clarke went back to her bunk and pulled out the sketch book—Lexa lending her a pencil—and began to draw. She kept the pictures of Kayla on her bed, and a few times asked Stephanie to show Clarke her face so she could get the picture just right. Clarke barely noticed that someone had cut on a radio, or that ‘Tavia was sitting in her cell on the floor next to Lexa with Indra there too, the three of them were laughing about something. She just worked on the card for two hours, and when she was done she hopped off her bunk and handed the card to Stephanie, who was more than happy to pay in full.

Clarke traipsed over to Lexa’s bed and sank down onto the floor, laying her head on Octavia’s lap.

“I’m so tired,” Clarke groaned.

“I bet. Take a break. You don’t need to die drawing for everyone. It’s not like any of them are going anywhere,” Octavia said.

Lexa chimed in. 

“Octavia is right. You have plenty of time to do all these cards and portraits for other people. Give yourself a rest.”

Clarke sat up and yawned, which was a clear indication that Octavia and Lexa were right. She needed a break. Her hand was starting to cramp from holding the pencil so tightly. She just needed to regroup. 

“Okay, you guys win,” Clarke mumbled as she rubbed at her eyes.

“Of course we do. Now, Indra, what were you saying about being aromantic?” Octavia asked the older woman.

“What’s that?” Clarke asked, and then apologized for interrupting. 

“Basically, I don’t feel romantic love. I love people as friends, but I’ve never been in love, never cared to have a partner. I love my friends, but platonic-ally. That’s what it means for me. Now to other people it could mean other things. I just know how I identify,” Indra explained. 

Octavia nodded. “That makes sense. People shouldn’t be defined by whether or not they want a romantic partner. It’s like kids; it ain’t for everyone. And people should accept that. At least I think. I know I’m not mother material, and my boy friend gets it. The dogs are our kids. He isn’t ready to be a dad either. His household was very abusive and he is so afraid that’s who he could become. And until Lincoln, I didn’t date. Which is obviously not the same thing, but I can get not wanting to be romantically involved with someone and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Platonic and familial love is just as good.”

“I like you, youngin’,” Indra said to Octavia.

“Good. Then maybe you can help me work out. I’d kill to have a body like yours!” 

Indra nodded. “I can do that. And Lexa here knows martial arts. I was—many years ago—a bodybuilder. I can help you tone up, and then we’ll go from there. Your boy friend won’t mind, will he?”

Octavia laughed. “Lincoln would love it. He loves that I’m fierce and determined. And he was proud of me for how I went to jail. I don’t care what the police say, I saved that boy’s life that night,” Octavia proclaimed.

“What? How?” Indra asked.

“Lincoln and I were meeting at a bar. And there was this young gay guy in there. And I overheard these two men talking about how they were gonna fuck him up. And it was bad. They were drunk rednecks, and I was sure that the kid wouldn’t see the sunrise if someone didn’t do something. So I went up to them and told them they needed to stop. Except when I said it, I used my fist. I beat both men up, and Lincoln had to pull me off them before I did worse. But you should have heard them! I couldn’t let that shit slide. I may not be gay but that doesn’t mean I bury my head in the sand if someone who is, is about to be hurt. So the police arrested me, and it turned out one of the guys whose asses I kicked was wanted for murdering a gay teen. He got life. And I’m just glad I saved that kid from the same fate,” Octavia said proudly.

Indra’s eyes were bugged. Lexa’s mouth was hanging open. Deidre was looking from her bunk with her eyebrows practically in her hair. For a moment no one said a word.

“Well,” Clarke said boldly, “I think you’re a hero.”

“Obviously,” Lexa said and Indra nodded her agreement.

“Anything could have happened to that kid. You did the right thing,” Lexa said. “And on behalf of the gays, I thank you.”

“And here I was going to thank her on behalf the gays,” Clarke joked.

“Don’t you mean bi’s?” Octavia said with a laugh. Clarke shrugged.

“Tomatoe, tomato.”

But the voice in her head was cheering because Lexa was gay, and this morning she had called Clarke pretty. There was nothing better than that. Not even coffee.


	5. Chapter 5

Clarke groaned as she crawled into bed, determined to work on Raven’s portrait tomorrow. She needed more sleep, and she needed a break from reality. She laid back with a sigh and rummaged under Octavia’s mattress until she found her earplugs. She put on her eye mask and was sure she’d be asleep in a matter of minutes.

No such luck. Lexa’s admission to being gay was playing through her head. That and thinking of ‘Tavia beating some dudes up to protect a young gay man. It was so unfair she was here with the rest of them, but Clarke had known that story from the jump. Still, it wasn’t right that Octavia had to be in jail for protecting someone else’s life. It was ridiculous. 

Clarke groaned and sat up, carefully removing the eye mask so as not to rip it. Lexa was reading, Octavia and Indra were talking in the day room over a cup of coffee, Cynthia was praying, Stephanie was writing a letter judging by the scratchy pen noise, Lynn was somewhere doing something, Angela wasn’t there, and Deidre was talking to the woman on the other side of the bars.

Clarke didn’t want to disturb anyone, but she couldn’t just lay there tossing and turning. So she hopped down off her bunk and went to go see Octavia and Indra.

Octavia looked over at Clarke and smiled, patting the metal bench beside her for Clarke to sit down.

“Couldn’t sleep?” Indra asked.

Clarke shook her head. “No. I just have so many thoughts running through my head. And my mom told me to call Wednesday, so I don’t want to blow her up especially if she is at the hospital working but… I feel homesick.”

Indra nodded. “Well… I don’t normally do this, but you seem to be part of our family now. I can let you borrow paper and a stamped envelope so you can write your mom. Sometimes reaching out to your family helps ease the pain.”

Once again, Clarke was touched by Indra’s kindness.

“I would appreciate it, Indra. I just don’t know what to say,” Clarke said with a shrug.

“Just tell her what you want her to know. Whether it’s ‘I love you,’ ‘I miss you,’ or ‘I’m okay.’ I’ll grab a stamped envelope and a sheet of paper,” Indra said, getting up from the bench. 

Clarke drummed her fingers on the top of the metal table. Metal, metal everywhere. Octavia rubbed her back, sensing that Clarke was in a melancholy mood. She just wanted her own bed and her mom. 

“She will come visit soon. And remember, next weekend Lincoln will come see both of us. He’s probably already called your mom. He’s usually on the ball about stuff like that. It’s going to be okay. I know it comes in waves; sometimes it feels easy and other times it feels hard. But I promise, we are going to make it. And we’re going to have each other’s back the whole way through it,” Octavia promised. 

“Thanks, ‘Tavia. It is just hard right now. But maybe Indra is right and writing her will help. Plus my mom said she was going to give my best friend Wells my information so he can write me, and bring him to visit when she does come.”

Octavia smiled. “See? That’s something to look forward to! It’ll be okay, kid. You aren’t alone, even if right now you feel like you are.”

Indra came back, swaggering, and handed Clarke a stamped envelope and a few pieces of paper. And a cheap pen, that Clarke knew had made it from city jail. She thanked Indra, and began writing her mom, feeling less alone with Octavia and Indra there. She told her mom how she missed her, but she was okay. She was making friends and really, life wasn’t so bad. She just missed her mom, and really wanted to hear from her. 

It was a page long when Clarke was done, and she made out the envelope to her mother and sealed it. Indra showed her where they put their mail, and Clarke did feel better. She stayed up talking with Octavia and Indra until the lights were out, and then she went to bed, a sad smile on her face as she thought of her mom. But Octavia’s words played in her head, and she knew soon she would see Abby.

When Clarke woke up and took her eye mask off, she saw Lexa up, a little book light clamped to her book as she read and sipped coffee. Clarke squinted at the clock and saw it was four thirty in the morning. She took her ear plugs out and hopped down from the bunk. Lexa saw this and held the hotpot out to her. 

Once Clarke had her coffee, she settled in next to Lexa and took a few deep breaths. She felt better than she had last night. Today was a new day, and her letter to her mom would go out. Soon commissary would be here, and she could get things she needed. It wasn’t bad. 

“You okay?” Lexa asked softly. Clarke nodded.

“Last night was just tough for me. I know I can’t call my mom everyday, but I really wish I could. I miss her. A lot,” Clarke admitted.

Lexa nodded. “It’s just my sister and I. My dad lives in Florida. So he never comes to visit. And he really doesn’t have the money for phone calls. So I understand. But I promise, Clarke, it gets easier. The weekdays fly by. You just gotta keep your head up.”

Clarke nodded as she said, “I’m trying to do so. It’s just hard. Three years seems like such a long time looking from now to then. For selling pot. Like… it’s ridiculous. Who does three years for selling pot?”

“Your judge probably wanted to make an example out of you. And I know it’s not fair, but you can’t change the ruling. All you can do is learn to live with it. And plan on what you’re going to do once you get out. You’re an artist. Start your portfolio now and build on it. You can mail the pictures you’re really proud of to your mom to hold onto for you. But don’t get depressed and feel defeated. That only makes this so much worse.”

“Thanks, Lexa. I’ll work on it. What book are you reading?” Clarke asked curiously.

“You know the Game of Thrones series?” Lexa asked and Clarke nodded. “I’m on the second book. They are long, which is great, and they help the time pass by. I have a trunk full of books. Anya—my sister—sends me a book a week usually. If you like to read you can borrow any of them that you want to.”

Clarke nodded appreciatively. “I may just take you up on that offer.”

Lexa grinned at her, and then reached under her mattress and pulled out a crossword puzzle book. 

“Do one of these. Or two or three. I really don’t care. I’ve had the thing since I got here and I’ve only done like five,” Lexa explained. 

Clarke thanked her and took the book, finishing her coffee before she climbed back on her bunk and used the dim night lights to do a crossword puzzle. She had to admit, it made the time pass, and pretty soon Octavia was awake and asking for the coffee.

“Feel better?” Octavia whispered as she sipped at the coffee. In thirty more minutes the lights would cut on.

Clarke nodded. “Thanks to you and Indra I feel a lot better. And Lexa pointed out to me that I could start building my art portfolio while I’m here to give me something to do. So I think that is something I’ll work on.”

Octavia nodded, gulping the hot coffee and grimacing as it burned her throat. 

“Damn, that’s good coffee compared to what we had,” Octavia said horsely.

Clarke laughed and clamped her hand over her mouth to stifle the loud laughter threatening to spill out. Octavia shook her head, a giggle escaping her mouth as well. Someone shushed them, and that just made Clarke have to clamp both hands over her mouth. Octavia tried to take a gulp of coffee and choked, causing Clarke to laugh even harder.

There was a loud, “Ugh!” from several cells over, and then Lexa’s voice rang out, cold as ice.

“Don’t ‘ugh’ me. Do something with your life other than sleep!”

Clarke’s eyebrows flew up and Octavia snorted loudly, burying her face in her pillow to laugh. But no one else breathed a word back to Lexa. In fact it had gone deathly silent. Clarke felt like she’d finally seen part of the gangster side of Lexa. 

When the lights cut on Octavia hopped down and hurried over to Clarke’s cell.

“Lexa, that was badass!” Octavia exclaimed.

Lexa smiled. “Thanks. Now, let’s go get breakfast!”

Breakfast was loud and chaotic, but it was good. There was orange juice again, and Clarke loved it. Orange juice had to be one of her favorite things. They all chatted and it was nice to feel like a part of a group.

A guard approached their table with papers in his hand.

“You two are Blake and Griffin, right?” he asked gruffly and Octavia said they were. 

“Okay, well at ten you’re meeting with your counselors. And before you two ask, no you aren’t in trouble. This is routine to see if you want to do education, have a job—and if so what job—and make sure you’re settling in. Prison is much more hands on, so any time anything comes up, you’ll be seeing a counselor. But that is no reason to worry. Now if you have to see the warden, on the other hand…” he trailed off and handed two pieces of paper to Clarke and Octavia.

“If you don’t know where the counselor’s area is, ask a guard. They’ll take you right to it. But other than that today is a free day for you both.”

And the guard walked off. Lexa asked for their papers and they handed them to her.

“You both have Ms. Harper. She’s good. I’ll show you where the counselor’s area is after breakfast so you don’t get a dick guard who won’t tell you. That was Leroy. He’s one of the good guards. Anytime you need something and you see him, it’s safe to ask. I’ll make sure to point out all the good guards to you two,” Lexa said as she then proceeded to cram another breakfast taco into her mouth. 

Lexa did indeed show them where the counselor’s area was, and then she told them now would be the time to acclimate themselves to the morning shower rush. So they did. It was crazy. The line was long—but at least it moved fast—and the women were going nuts. One Hispanic girl was shouting “Who the fuck took my sports bra, with y’all thieving asses!”

Clarke rushed through her shower, now throughly appreciating the weekend when she had more time. She brushed her teeth, got dressed, and met Octavia outside when the other woman was done washing her hair.

“We definitely need to buy razors,” Octavia grumbled, working the small toothed comb that they were given upon arrival through her hair.

“And a brush,” Clarke interjected.

Octavia nodded. “Let’s go see if we have money on our books yet.”

They headed to the kiosk machine and Octavia went first. She had eighty dollars, and was satisfied. Clarke checked hers and saw three hundred dollars. Her hand flew to her mouth. That was the most that could be put on her books at any one time. Her mom had come through. 

Octavia rubbed Clarke’s back, and Clarke sniffed and wiped away the tears that threatened to spill down her face. Commissary limit was a hundred a week. She would have at least three weeks worth of stuff to buy. 

They walked back to Clarke’s cell where they mixed cappuccino and coffee with sweetener to make a celebratory drink—Lexa having already told Clark she could use the hotpot. That was how Lexa found them when she stumbled in from her shower.

“Clarke? Clarke are you okay?” Lexa asked anxiously as she saw the other woman sniffling. She immediately fell to her knees, and Clarke’s heart pitter-pattered over this.

“She’s okay. Her mom gave her money for commissary for the first time since she has been locked up so she is a little emotional,” Octavia responded, rubbing Clarke’s back. 

Clarke nodded to affirm this statement. Lexa sighed and gripped Clarke’s shoulder.

“Don’t worry me like that! I thought I was going to have to go fight someone and go to isolation for a week!” Lexa exclaimed.

Clarke smiled and sniffled. “But then who would I talk to at four in the morning?” she joked.

Lexa smiled. “You’re right. Well I’ll help both of you calculate commissary costs so you can get everything you need this week.”

“Thanks, Lexa,” Clarke said as she then wiped her eyes to dry her tears. Crying wasn’t allowed here. 

“Of course!” Lexa said sincerely. 

They then decided to go over their commissary lists, Clarke using the sketch pad to write hers and Octavia’s stuff down. Clarke offered to buy coffee for both of them, but Octavia refused saying both of them getting two bags would keep them in coffee. But she did agree to let Clarke buy her pads—just in case. Clarke had to admit, it was kind of fun deciding what to spend her money on. It gave her a sense of accomplishment almost. Like here she was, settling in. Granted she couldn’t afford clothes AND a hotpot, but Lexa assured her that she could use her hotpot anytime, so there was no need for them to buy one anyway.

Clarke bought the magic shave hair remover, telling Octavia she could use it too. Lexa swore that stuff was gold, so that was good enough for Clarke. Before Octavia and Clarke knew it, it was time to meet with their counselor. Lexa walked them over there, explaining that today was her off day so she was free to wait for them both.

Surprisingly, Ms. Harper called them both in at the same time, wearing a guard uniform. She gestured to the two seats in front of her desk and they sat down.

“Well, ladies, welcome to Polis. I’m your counselor, Ms. Harper, and I’m here to get you set up with jobs or education. Let’s start with Ms. Blake. Which would you prefer?” she asked kindly.

Clarke was sending Octavia a telepathic message to choose education so they could be together. But she must not have gotten it because she asked what kind of jobs there were to do.

“Well we could use another librarian. There is kitchen work. Custodial work. Laundry workers…”

Octavia thought for a moment then said she would take laundry. Ms. Harper noted that and turned to Clarke, who immediately said she wanted college education.

“Class is Monday, Wednesday, Friday. From ten to two. And Ms. Blake, laundry is Tuesday, Thursday, and some Saturdays. We rotate so you don’t work every Saturday. It’ll be from ten to two as well. Is that suitable for both of you?” she asked kindly. 

They both nodded.

“Excellent! You won’t go to class today, Clarke, you’ll start Wednesday. And one of the guards will show you where it is. Octavia, you start tomorrow. And you can also ask a guard to show you where the laundry room is. Is there anything else I can help you two with? Are you settling in okay?” Ms. Harper asked. 

They both said yes, and they left the office. Lexa stood up from the bench outside in the counselor’s area. Octavia was talking a mile a minute to Lexa, apparently glad she’d gotten laundry.

“It pays the best,” Lexa said.

“What do you mean it pays the best?” Clarke asked as they walked back to their cell.

“I mean what I said,” Lexa said, frowning. “It pays the most money.”

Clarke stopped abruptly. “Jobs here pay?” she asked incredulously. 

Both Octavia and Lexa nodded.

“How much? I wouldn’t need money on my books if I had a job.”

“Yes you would, Clarke. Laundry is twenty cents an hour. Pay is shit,” Lexa explained.

“Oh,” Clarke said feeling rather stupid. The other women seemed not to notice as they resumed walking.

“So since it’s my day off, am I allowed to sleep?” Octavia asked hopefully.

Lexa laughed, “Yes, both of you are.”

“What are you going to do?” Clarke asked Lexa.

Lexa shrugged. “Read.”

Clarke chewed her lip for a moment, and then said, “Lexa, can I borrow those colored pencils so I can get this commission done for Raven?” Clarke asked.

Lexa nodded saying, “Of course! And I’ll get you the sharpener, too.”

And just like that, Clarke was sitting on her bunk looking at pictures of Raven and her boyfriend and drawing away.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments! Please keep them coming. They really inspire me. Sorry this chapter took so long, but here it is. Why IS Lexa in prison? Find out below. And remember to follow me on tumblr @thatonewitchwhovapes

When they called for lunch, Clarke looked up, startled. She was about halfway through Raven’s portrait. She had gotten so lost in it she hadn’t realized that time had flown by. She held the portrait out, looking at it before she carefully set it down and hopped off her bunk.

She waited for Octavia who shrugged her shirt on after hopping down from her bunk as well. She’d been asleep the whole time. Clarke hoped it was a good sleep. Octavia yawned and rubbed her eyes as they waited on Lexa to mark her place in her book and join them.

Lunch was noisy once everyone arrived. They were all animated and chatty, laughing and joking with each other. It was nice. It felt less like a prison and more like a stay away camp.

Indra sighed and plopped down next to Lexa, shaking her head. 

“I fucking hate electrical,” Indra grunted.

Lexa chuckled. “Fixing fans again?”

“Yes! Like how can all the big fans break at once?! I will never for the life of me understand it,” Indra said sounding exasperated.

Echo joined them, looking very unhappy. Apparently she worked as a custodian and someone had thrown up everywhere in the hallway.

“It was awful! But like we get sick, I get that. But I had to stumble on it. No one reported it. They just left it! Triffling ass bitches, I swear,” Echo grumbled while stabbing her salad.

“Should I be glad I picked education?” Clarke joked.

“No,” Emori said as she sat down. “It’s hard. I’m taking GED classes and I’m so overwhelmed. Like who needs Algebra? This is bullshit. I’d rather mop up vomit, but once you’re in the program it’s damn near impossible to get out since they get funding for everyone who gets their GED or degree.”

“Really? They do?” Clarke asked and everyone nodded.

Lexa said, “Prisons are about profit. They get like eighty bucks per person per day, if not more. 

Clarke’s eyebrows shot up. She hadn’t known that at all. 

The rest of lunch was everyone complaining about the shitty pay for the hours they worked given how much the prison made off them. 

“But,” Emori said, cracking a smile. “We all know they spend all of Lexa’s money on her fucking meds so she doesn’t have seizures on us all the damn time.”

Lexa laughed. “Just some of the time, right?”

Everyone laughed but Clarke wasn’t too sure she saw what was funny. Seizures were no joke. But even Octavia seemed to find it amusing, so Clarke let it be. Maybe she just wasn’t in the right frame of mind.

“So…” Clarke finally said, “I feel dumb but, if you have a seizure, Lexa, what do I do?”

“Don’t feel stupid. If I have a seizure make sure there’s nothing I can hit my head on or hurt myself convulsing on. Get help. Put a blanket under my head and make sure if I get sick I’m not choking on it. That part has never happened to me before, but other more embarrassing stuff has happened. But it’s really not a big deal,” Lexa explained.

Clarke felt like it sounded like a big deal, but she wasn’t going to worry about it until she needed to do so. She didn’t need to scare Lexa with her own fear and worry. Lexa had dealt with this before, so Clarke was sure she could help if she needed to help.

“Is that why you have a bottom bunk?” Octavia asked.

Lexa nodded. “I’ve fallen off the bunk before so putting me on top is a no go. I like having the bottom bunk, though.”

“I bet. Easier than climbing up and down all day,” Clarke said and Lexa nodded.

“Much. I dunno how you ladies do it. I’d be pissed if I had to get down every time there was chow. At least this way I can plug in my hotpot and put my cup on the nightstand next to me and actually reach it,” Lexa snorted, shaking her head as though the thought of a top bunk were so bad she couldn’t even fathom it.

Clarke shrugged. “At least it’ll help keep me active,” she teased.

Lexa guffawed. “That it will.”

Lunch ended and they all dumped their trays and made their way to their own areas. Indra and Echo went back to work. Lexa and Clarke went to their cell. Octavia sat down in the day room to write her boy friend a letter. Clarke fixed a cup of cappuccino and got back to work on Raven’s portrait, humming under her breath as she did so. She was so lost in the portrait, in the right shading and the right colors being used, which was difficult with what she was given. But she was enjoying herself, and nothing else mattered.

Around three thirty, Clarke set the portrait down, officially done. She sighed and rubbed her eyes, and Octavia poked her through the bars, asking to see the portrait. Clarke showed it to her, and ‘Tavia let out a low whistle. 

“Damn, girl, you did good,” Octavia said.

Lexa asked if she could see and Clarke nodded. Lexa’s eyebrows shot into her hair line as she took in the portrait.

“Damn, Clarke! This is really good!” Lexa said.

“Wouldn’t happen to be talking about my portrait would you?” Raven said leaning against the cell door. Clarke nodded and held it out to Raven, who took it carefully. 

It was hard to judge Raven’s response, but Clarke was pretty sure the look on Raven’s face was one of astonishment. The girl nodded her head before saying, “It’s beautiful. Let me get you your payment.”

And just like that Clarke had pads, tampons, and deodorant. She wasted no time in opening the deodorant and applying it, reveling in the feel of having basic hygiene again. 

Lexa laughed at her, and Octavia was shaking her head. Clarke handed her the deodorant but Octavia shook her head.

“Already got some, kid.”

Clarke lifted a brow in question and Octavia beckoned Clarke to the bars so she could whisper in her ear, “Indra gave me some.”

Clarke nodded. Of course. Those two seemed almost like mother and daughter. They got on so well. Just as long as Indra didn’t completely steal Octavia from Clarke…

But even as she thought it, she knew she was being silly. Octavia and her would always have each other’s backs. But if Octavia wanted more friends, Clarke wasn’t going to demand to be the only one. After all, Lexa was Clarke’s friend and Octavia never said anything about that. No, Clarke was being completely silly. They were family. Indra was just joining their little family, too.

Clarke yawned, wondering what she could do to pass the time. And then she glanced back at Lexa, who was asleep with a book on her chest, and it came to her. She began drawing vigorously. Taking the Lexa in person and the image of a fearless warrior and merging the two. Octavia watched, and though Clarke was sure Octavia knew who Clarke was drawing, she didn’t say anything. 

Clarke kept glancing back, and the cell slowly filled up while Clarke drew. She wasn’t paying attention though. She was lost in her own little art world. Someone in a nearby cell started a radio, and Clarke was bobbing her head in time with the music while drawing. 

When she was done there was five minutes until dinner, and Clarke was looking at a beautiful black and white drawing of a warrior queen Lexa. Clarke put the drawing under her mattress. She’d keep it in a folder after she got commissary. For now she just wanted to keep it to herself.

And when she looked at Octavia, the other woman’s smile was a little too understanding. But Clarke knew she couldn’t hide from Octavia. Clarke had always been bi. Had always felt more for women then men. But Lexa? Lexa was beauty and grace. She was fierce and commanding. And she was undeniably kind and there for Clarke. It left Clarke feeling almost lightheaded at times. 

“Don’t worry, Clarke, I won’t tell,” Octavia whispered, squeezing Clarke through the bars. And Clarke knew she was telling the truth. Octavia would take this to the grave if she had to. Because she was that sort of best friend. And it momentarily stunned Clarke to realize Octavia was her best friend. And she’d never had a female best friend before. It’d always just been her and Wells. But Octavia brought understanding and empathy to the plate, and it was so damn nice.

“Thank you,” Clarke says with a small smile, gripping Octavia’s hand back, hoping to covey emotions she doesn’t know how to express because she’s not a writer, she’s a different type of artist. But all art is love in the end, and she does love Octavia. Would beat someone up for her. Just not romantically.

Which is good because Octavia is head over heels in love with Lincoln. And Clarke thinks maybe Lincoln does deserve her, the way he’s always writing and putting money on the phone so she can call twice a week. Clarke knows, can hear in his letters, just how much he loves Octavia. And isn’t that all that matters?

“Do you miss him?” Clarke asked, knowing the answer.

Octavia smiles. “With every beat of my heart. But I won’t be here forever. And Lincoln… Lincoln is my other half. No matter what, we will make it work. I know that.”

Clarke nodded, and then it was chow time. Clarke hopped off her bed as everyone but Lexa—who was still asleep—filed out of the cell. Clarke gently shook her awake, telling her it was time to eat. Lexa nodded and set her book aside, stretching as she got up and following Clarke to the dinner hall.

“Thanks for waking me up,” Lexa said sleepily. 

Clarke smiled, “Of course. I hope you would do the same for me.”

Lexa laughed. “Without hesitation.”

Dinner felt like it was quick. Clarke chatted with Lexa, watching as the other woman took in her surroundings. Indra and Octavia were laughing about something. Echo and Emori were lost in conversation. 

“What’s on your mind, Clarke?” Lexa asked.

Clarke chewed her lip before answering. “Is it true they call you the Commander?” she asked quietly.

Lexa sat up straight, an eyebrow arched.

“Yes.”

Clarke took a deep breath in. So Raven had been right. But did it really matter at this point? Could she pull herself away from Lexa? The answer? She didn’t want to.

“We’ll talk about this in the morning, over coffee, if that’s okay,” Clarke said with a smile.

Reassured, Lexa smiled back and nodded. “I promise I’ll tell you whatever you want to know.”

And Clarke believed her.

That evening, Indra brought dominos to their cell, and Lexa taught her how to play. It was confusing and Clarke failed miserably, but it was the most fun she had had while being locked up. It was nice to get out of herself and just live in the moment. Because that’s all life was; a handful of moments strung together.

When Clarke did wake up at three forty-five the next morning, Lexa was making coffee, apparently having just woken up herself. Clarke hopped down off the bunk and got her coffee ready, pattering over to Lexa who smiled and said the water was still warming up.

Clarke sat down on the floor next to Lexa, and she found she had so many questions for her.

“Why _do_ they call you the Commander?”

Lexa smiled. “In every prison reform we’ve had, I’ve led the inmates. I take charge and lead. And sometimes that means getting tough. But if I can make this prison better for those of us here, why shouldn’t I?”

“What prison reforms?” Clarke found herself asking.

“Like… commissary used to be every other week, and a limit of sixty dollars. For two weeks? That’s terrible. So I got everyone together and used my writing skills to write the warden a letter explaining how it would improve living conditions if we were allowed a hundred dollars every week. And it worked. There was a lot of me talking to the warden directly, but I led the people. And in a peaceful way. I’ve seen riots. They don’t work in this setting. So I did what I had to do,” Lexa explained as she poured water in Clarke’s cup and then handed her the spoon.

Clarke stirred her sugar, coffee, and creamer together. “So what about you running this prison and having people jumped?”

Lexa snorted mid sip, coffee going up her nose which made Clarke laugh.

“Sorry,” Clarke said.

“No, you’re fine. Well I _have_ had people jumped before. Like a white supremacist who got away with cutting Indra. I won’t tolerate that. I guess I do kind of run the prison. Everyone here listens to me, but I’m not some maniac. I just want to make sure that those who hurt others are dealt with. And a lot of the time the guards don’t know about it. And they can’t because then you’d get jumped twice. So I’m the one who sorts all that out,” Lexa explained.

And finally, the nagging question.

“Did you work for the cartel?”

Lexa looked down and sighed. “Yes, I did. I was pretty high up. Enough that they keep money on my books in exchange for my complete silence. I was offered three years if I would name the people I worked for, but… if you snitch on the Cartel, you die. There’s no way around it. Even in prison, they’d get to you. So I kept my mouth shut and took the time. And my… former boss, makes sure I always make store. My sister took over for me. I know it sounds bad, but that’s how we grew up. Our mom was a member. So that is kind of the only life we’ve ever really known.”

Clarke looked down at her cup of coffee, emotions whirring inside of her.

“Have you ever killed anyone?”

Lexa snorted. “No. I mainly arranged transport and paid the transport workers off. A necessary job. I’ve never laid my hands on anyone. I just knew the whole inner workings of the Cartel. Because I had to make sure the drugs got from point A to point B every time. So I knew ahead of time everything that was going on. But like I said, I didn’t snitch.”

Clarke looked up at Lexa, who looked so nervous, as though she were facing a judge. And the next question came unbidden to Clarke’s lips.

“Do you want to go back to that life?”

Lexa shook her head. “No. And I told them that. And they agreed that as long as I keep my complete silence, I can walk away. I don’t know yet what I’ll do. I’m still trying to figure that out. But I took the business management classes here. I just need to figure out what I want to do.”

So Lexa had worked for the Cartel, but it was nowhere near as bad as Clarke had been expecting it to be. If Lexa was telling her the truth, but Clarke fully believed she was. She took a sip of hot coffee, thinking about the woman who had been so kind to her since she arrived. She’d never shown Clarke an inkling of violence. So why shouldn’t Clarke believe her? She was sure if she’d been there when Indra had been hurt, she would have made the same choice as Lexa did. You had to watch out for your own.

“Does it bother you?” Lexa finally asked.

Clarke shook her head. “Not like I thought it would. I don’t like it but… I’m here, too. I wasn’t concerned about what I was doing and where it would get me. I imagine that for the right amount of money I could have probably been convinced to do other things. We’re just all trying to survive, I guess.”

Lexa nodded. “That we are, Clarke. That we are.”

And they lapsed into companionable silence until the lights cut on.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment and let me know what you think!

“So we order it today and get it tomorrow?” Clarke asked at the breakfast table.

Octavia had a cup of coffee in hand that she brought with her, trying to make sure she was awake for her laundry room shift at ten.

“It depends. Usually you get it today, but if they’re running low—and they were last week—you’ll get it tomorrow. Or certain things like shoes and hotpots they don’t always have on hand, so you have to wait until the next day,” Indra explained.

“So we _could_ get some of our stuff today?” Octavia asked excitedly. 

Lexa laughed, her eyes on Clarke’s face before they flitted to Octavia. “Yes, O, you _could_. If they restocked you _will_.”

Octavia clapped her hands together and danced in her seat. Clarke had to laugh. But commissary day was a good day. And now she could write Wells and let him know she was okay. Possibly falling head over heels for a Cartel member—former member—but still.

“So how do we order?” Clarke asked, shoving a waffle into her mouth and picking up a strip of bacon.

“At the commissary window by the phones. I’ll show you. But there will be a mad rush so its best to wait until everyone starts working,” Lexa explained, trading her bacon for Emori’s waffle. She felt a surge of affection for Lexa, and quickly looked down at her plate.

“Don’t you work today, too?” Clarke asked. 

Lexa nodded. “Twelve to two. Perks of being a medical case; I don’t have to work long.”

“Then maybe you can help me with school when I start, since you’ve already done it,” Clarke half joked.

Lexa smiled and it was like the setting sun. “I will”

The morning rush to the showers was bad, but somehow Clarke ended up coming out at the same moment as Lexa. Seeing her, standing there naked, brushing her hair, towel half off her, Clarke wondered what she was doing. Her mother would warn against this. Anyone would. But Clarke was beyond caring. She had heard how jailhouse relationships went. They burned bright, and died soon. Surrounded by the one you care for every day? Living this life with them holding your hand? It formed a bond, and Clarke just knew she was soon to be too far gone for Lexa, the one with a beautiful tattoo on her arm. 

“Hey,” Clarke said smiling, and Lexa smiled back at her. 

“Hey,” Lexa responded.

They brushed their teeth in silence, Clarke stealing glances at Lexa every chance she could get. And there never seemed to be enough glances. She wanted to soak her into her bones, get to know Lexa to her very core. And that still would not be enough for Clarke. She knew it. She wanted Lexa with her, in the free world, where they could be free of these stupid uniforms and rules.

“You okay, Clarke?” Lexa asked, her hand going to Clarke’s arm.

Clarke nodded and said, “Just a little overwhelmed today. And excited to get my stuff. But what do we do about laundry?”

“I’ll show you. Come on, put your clothes on.”

Lexa went over how they left their laundry bags on their beds with their dirty clothes in them, and someone would come around from laundry and get them.

“There’s like twenty washing machines, so they do twenty loads at once. Then they put them in the dryer. Your uniform has your bunk number in it so it doesn’t get lost, and any clothes you buy off commissary will have your number written on the label,” Lexa explained.

Clarke nodded thinking about her drawing of Lexa as a warrior queen. Her mind straying everywhere all at once.

“What’s wrong, Clarke?” Lexa asked reaching out for Clarke.

Clarke shook her head. “I don’t know. I’m fine just… worn out.”

Lexa bit her lip before she said, “I have a Dr Pepper left. We could do a coffeeshot together?”

And it was a welcome idea. So they sat on Lexa’s bed, Clarke holding her cup as Lexa scooped coffee into Clarke’s cup—”because I suggested it so I’ll provide the coffee”—and then poured some Dr Pepper in. They swilled it around, mixing it before clinking their plastic cups and downing the shot.

“That tastes… not so bad, actually,” Clarke admitted.

Lexa laughed. “Not _so_ bad?” Lexa joked.

“How does it taste with Mountain Dew?” Clarke asked.

Lexa debated before saying, “Not as bad as you’d think, but it’s definitely better with Dr Pepper.”

Clarke grinned. “I bet. I’m anxious to get commissary. I want my new bras, socks, t-shirts and what not.”

Lexa groaned. “Fine, we’ll wait in the commissary line so you can get your stuff. Bring your list with or you’ll forget half the stuff,” Lexa reminded her.

Octavia was in the showers still, so Clarke decided she’d go without her best friend. And the commissary line was long, Lexa hadn’t been lying. But it moved, so that helped. 

“What do you do besides read?” Clarke asked her.

Lexa shrugged. “I write. I don’t do a whole lot else. Play dominoes with Indra. Gossip with Emori. And now morning coffee with you.”

“I like our morning coffee,” Clarke admitted.

Lexa smiled.

“Me too, Clarke.”

They chatted about what they were both getting from commissary, and Clarke’s heart soared when she saw people carrying mesh bags back to their cells filled with stuff.

Clarke and Lexa chatted about what the Business Management classes were like, since Lexa actually had experience with taking those classes.

“It’s not too bad,” Lexa assured her, “And if you’re confused, I can help you learn whatever you need to. I’m good at the sort of thing.”

Clarke smiled. “Thanks, Lexa. I’m sure I will be using you. They should have different classes though.”

“Well, if you really want, they do. Trade jobs and such. You just have to ask for them. Indra did electrical, and so she is a licensed electrician which is why they put her in electrical,” Lexa explained.

Clarke was very impressed. 

“They also do parenting classes, and if you do really well in the class your child can come up to the unit for a whole day of visiting. Echo did that and she was so happy. I was really happy for her,” Lexa rambled on. “And they’ve had family days before, where if you do a workshop your family gets to come up here for a whole day. It’s only like once a year, but it is so worth it.”

“Can you do it every year?” Clarke asked.

Lexa nodded. “That or every other year. I can’t remember for sure. But it’s awesome. They have pizza and crafts and family building exercises. I love it,” Lexa told her as they moved to the head of the line, Lexa getting out a folded piece of paper.

And then they were next. And Clarke handed over her written down list to Raven Reyes.

“She has a mesh commissary bag on there,” Lexa said and Raven gave a sigh of relief.

“Finally, some common sense around here! What’s your SPN?” Raven asked. 

Clarke listed it off and Raven tapped it into the computer, taking a calculator to add everything as she went.

Clarke had gotten everything she could think of, from mouthwash to ramen noodles, ramen noodles to clothes, clothes to a cup and a bowl, and so damn much more. 

Raven piled it all in a bag, writing Clarke’s bunk number on the clothing tag in permanent marker, and on the bottom of Clarke’s socks so nothing got lost.

“Now, you got the Commander to look out for you,” Raven said with a nod towards Lexa. “But I recommend getting a padlock next time. Just to be safe. If people find out you make store, they switch up. But you should be okay in your cell. But still,” Raven said and Clarke nodded.

Raven printed out a receipt, handing it and the now full and heavy mesh bag to Clarke.

And then it was Lexa’s turn. And shit did that woman get a lot of food, drinks, coffee, toilet tissue, etc. Lexa got her own mesh bag, saying she’d give it to Octavia after she put her stuff in her trunk. And then they left, both women heaving their commissary all the way to the cell.

Octavia was in her cell, and she jumped down the minute she saw them with their commissary.

“I have something for you, Octavia,” Lexa said, ushering the other woman in. After she emptied out the mesh bag she gave it to Octavia, who thanked her and ran down to commissary with her list.

“Thank you. That was sweet,” Clarke said.

It wasn’t in Lexa’s nature to blush, but she did avert her eyes as a smile spread across her face.

It was eight thirty, and Clarke was debating calling her mom since she had class tomorrow. When Lexa asked what was wrong Clarke explained it to her. Lexa nodded.

“I’d try today. The worst that can happen is she doesn’t answer. Do you want me to come with you?” Lexa asked and Clarke nodded.

“Let me put my stuff in my trunk real quick, and I will,” Lexa said. 

Clarke opened her commissary bag and took out a Mountain Dew, glad to have some small luxury. She popped the can open and took a big, long swig. And then another one. She almost moaned in pleasure. She hadn’t had her own soda in months. Not that she had minded sharing with Octavia, but it was nice to have something of her own again.

She looked over and saw Lexa looking at her with amusement.

“Don’t judge me!” Clarke said sternly.

Lexa laughed and said. “I wouldn’t dream of it. Now let’s go call your mom!”

“Can I bring the Mountain Dew with?” Clarke asked and Lexa chuckled and nodded her head.

They walked together to the phones, and everyone must have been at commissary because there was no line. Clarke went through with Lexa once more how to call her mom, and waited with bated breath.

The woman’s voice came on saying she was connecting the call, and Clarke heard her mother’s voice.

“Clarke, honey! Is everything okay? I thought you weren’t going to call until tomorrow morning!”

“Everything is fine, Mom, I just have class tomorrow morning. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday I have class. And everyone else is at commissary so I thought I’d call and see if you could answer,” Clarke explained.

Abby let out a sigh of relief. “That’s good then. Did you get the money on your books yet?” she asked.

“Yes, and thank you, Mom. I got a shit ton of hygiene and some more clothes so I can wear actual boxer shorts to bed. And I did get a few sodas and some coffee, but it’s been so long I hoped you wouldn’t mind. I’m drinking a Mountain Dew now and Mom… it is so good,” Clarke moaned.

Abby laughed. “Good. I’ll try and put 300 on every three weeks. I think I punished you enough. Lincoln and I were talking about that Sunday, actually, when he called to talk to me about whether or not he needed to put money on your books. Tell Octavia she has a stand-up guy. Very professional and polite.”

Clarke laughed, “I’ll tell her, Mom. I think Lincoln is great for her.”

“I agree,” Abby said, “And he told me why she’s in jail, and Clarke I just do NOT agree with it. She saved someone’s life! She’s a hero! It honestly made me think of you and how you’ve had girl friends, and I’d want someone like Octavia to protect you if that were to happen.”

“I told you, Mom, I got a good group of women around me. I wrote you a letter on Sunday, by the way. I just missed you,” Clarke admitted.

“I miss you, too. Wells wrote you Monday. And I got a few pictures I was going to put in the mailbox for you. I checked online and it says you can buy a photo album, is that right?” Abby asked.

“It is. I noticed it on the commissary sheet.”

“Okay, well get it next week. And Marcus wants to write you. Your stepfather misses you, too.”

Clarke sighed. “I know, Mom, and I miss him too. I just… I feel so ashamed, and Marcus is a police officer.”

“Oh, honey, he doesn’t judge you. He worries about you. You should call him sometime this week. He found a bunch of pictures of you and your dad together, and those are the ones I’m sending. And one of us, and one with you and Marcus hunting together. He’s said it himself; you’re his daughter. He loves you,” Abby pleaded.

And Clarke could picture Marcus with his salt and pepper beard, one arm slung around Abby’s waist, the other around Clarke’s shoulder, calling them both his girls. He’d not always been the best, but he’d loosened up once he met Abby. 

“I’ll call him soon, I promise. Any idea of when you can visit?”

Abby gasped. “That’s what I wanted to tell you! Wells works this weekend, but I have off. And Marcus will be coming with me, Saturday. We’re carpooling with Lincoln because he actually is about fifteen minutes away. So both you and Octavia have visits this Saturday.”

Clarke was thrilled. “Mom, that’s awesome, thank you so much!”

“I may only make it once a month depending on work, but I will come at least once a month,” Abby promised her daughter, and Clarke knew she kept her promises.

“So how are you and Marcus? How’s Wells?” Clarke asked, not wanting to talk about jail anymore.

“Wells got into a computer programming class at Arkadia University. Marcus has been working a lot of nights, catching drunk drivers. He’s crashed out in bed right now. But we’re good. Hospital has me pulling a lot of overtime here lately, but I can always use that for you. It’s not like, as a surgeon, it’s hard for me to manage money on your books. And once you are out we’ll redo your bedroom and get you re-enrolled in school. We’re going to work this out,” her mom informed her.

The woman’s voice came on saying they had one minute left, and Clarke told her mom she loved her, and she would see her Saturday. She hung up the phone feeling much happier than she had fifteen minutes ago.

“Feel better?” Lexa asked.

Clarke gave a weak laugh. “Yeah. My mom and step-dad are car pooling with Octavia’s boy friend to visit me this Saturday. I… I wasn’t expecting that. I’m just so happy,” Clarke sniffled, wiping at her eyes and then chugging some of the Mountain Dew clenched in her fist. 

They walked back to the cell, Clarke leading the way and running up to Octavia in her cell when they made it. Octavia looked startled but pleased to see Clarke.

“My mom and step-dad are car pooling with your boyfriend to come up here this Saturday!” Clarke shouted, causing nearby people to look over a them.

Octavia screeched and flung her arms around Clarke.

“That is so awesome!” Octavia said, pulling back slightly to look into Clarke’s face.

“Oh and mom loves Lincoln. Seems he’s the perfect gentleman.”

Octavia laughed. “That he is. Now get your laundry together, new stuff included, so I can wash it all for you first,” Octavia ordered and Clarke did as she was told.


	8. Chapter 8

“Okay,” Octavia said as she grabbed Clarke and Lexa’s laundry bags. “I’ll try and do y’alls first. Clarke, the laundry powder sucks, so I’m going to use mine for yours. Don’t argue or I’ll be late. See you bitches later!”

Clarke laughed and Lexa shook her head, a grin forming on her face.

“Do you mind me asking what you got?” Clarke asked Lexa.

“Not at all.” 

Lexa proceeded to pull out her trunk and open it. Clarke’s mouth fell open. She had tortillas, beans, ramen, clothes, and TONS of sodas. 

“That’s not all from this week, is it?” Clarke asked incredulously.

Lexa laughed as she said, “No. I stock up. Most of the food items are though. It’s easier sometimes. Plus, you can trade it for other things. People go crazy around Sunday to Monday for Ramen. And the tortillas are like gold here.”

Lexa patted her bed for Clarke to sit down, and feeling slightly nervous she did. But it was Lexa, after all. She was both soothing and unsettling to Clarke all at once.

“Coffee shot?” Lexa asked, pulling out a cherry Dr Pepper.

Clarke smiled and nodded, going to grab her cup. The one Lexa had given her to borrow with little hearts doodled onto it. Had that been a sign? Or was Clarke hoping for too much?

Lexa scooped coffee into the cups, and then poured in some of the soda. They stirred it, clinked cups, and then downed the shot of soda/coffee. It really wasn’t that bad, Clarke decided. It tasted good for a coffee shot.

“I work today,” Lexa said softly.

Clarke nodded. “I know.”

“What will you do?” Lexa asked.

Clarke shook her head and shrugged. “I hadn’t really even thought about it. I guess I could write my best friend a letter. He wrote me apparently.”

“Your best friend is a guy?” Lexa asked.

Clarke nodded. “We’ve been friends since we were eight, right before my dad died we moved to the house next door to his. He… he was my only friend. He’s one of the best people I know.”

“Are you two…” Lexa asked softly, voice trailing off.

“No. Wells is more interested in guys than girls,” Clarke said with an amused smile.

Lexa laughed. “Of course. Well…”

She halted and looked down at her hands. Clarke took this opportunity to study Lexa’s face unabashedly. The soft yet fierce face. She had the look of a Commander, all right. She looked like she was in charge. Her posture held confidence. And it probably helped that she knew martial arts. Lexa looked up, looked Clarke in the eyes, and spoke.

“Come with me to the garden. You don’t have to work, but you could keep me company.”

Clarke smiled brightly and said, “I’d love to.”

Lexa visibly brightened. “Good, that’s… good.”

The two women sat on Lexa’s bunk talking about everyone they had waiting on them on the outside. Lexa leaned against the wall, her shirt riding up and exposing more ink on her abdomen. Clarke found herself touching it before she’d even realized she was doing it.

“What’s that one for?” Clarke asked.

Lexa pulled her pants slightly down and pulled her shirt up more. It was a beautiful, intricate phoenix that took Clarke’s breath away, all red and gold and burning brightly. 

“I got it the day my mother died. I… I believe we all come back. We’re all reborn from our ashes. We choose what to go through in every life before we come. We choose how our lives will play out and the major players in our lives. But then if we don’t complete our task, we come back facing the same circumstances again. But we have a chance to do it right. We have a chance to not fail. And until then, may we and all those we’ve lost meet again,” Lexa said.

“I wish I believed in an afterlife. Or in something. But I look at the world, at how savage we are, and I wonder if a god exists, how can he or she allow this to happen?” Clarke asked.

Lexa gave a soft smile. “Because it’s up to us to have our souls grow. We can be whomever we want to be. It just depends on us. And that’s free will. I wouldn’t want some god constantly meddling in my life. But a gentle nudge here and there of intuition? That I’ll take.”

Clarke nodded, absorbing Lexa’s words.

“Clarke, I’m not trying to change your mind. Your spiritual path is your own. I’m just explaining what I believe. You shouldn’t change your beliefs just for someone else. Do it because it feels right to you. Not because you want to make someone happy. I’ve seen where that leads to, and it’s not a pretty sight,” Lexa said softly, her hand on Clarke’s knee.

“I understand. But the only way to find your truth is by asking other’s about theirs, right?”

Lexa nodded. “That is very true. You have to keep an open mind at all times in order to learn, and that is a really difficult thing to do a lot of the time.”

Clarke nodded. “It is. But I think… I think it’s worth it. You can grow so much that way. And isn’t that the point of living? Not to remain forever stagnant?”

Lexa nodded. “Never thought I’d have this discussion with you,” Lexa said with a smile.

“You’d be surprised who you could have it with,” Clarke said and Lexa nodded in agreement. 

“So… do you read?” Lexa asked.

Clarke smiled. “Yeah, I do actually. My dad was a huge science fiction nerd. So we watched—and read—everything science fiction we could. I grew up on Star Wars and Star Trek. Anne MacCaffrey’s Dragon Riders of Pern. Which totally starts out fantasy but switches towards the end of the series. I also love horror. Anything Stephan King is good.”

Lexa laughed. “There’s so many other good writers besides Stephen King, you know. Some of the best in the horror genre has been written by others.”

“Yeah, but come on. The Shining? Nothing tops that.”

Lexa shook her head. “Oh yes. ‘The Passage’ tops that. It is creepy in _all_ the right ways. I have it if you aren’t too chicken to read it.”

Clarke laughed. “Really? Is that how we’re gonna play this game?”

Lexa feigned innocence and said, “Game, what game? I’m not playing a game.”

Clarke gave her a ‘that’s-bullshit-and-you-know-it’ look. Lexa laughed so hard she snorted, her face finally flushing. And Clarke wanted to tell her not to be embarrassed. It was cute and unique, like Lexa herself. She wanted to just lean in to Lexa and kiss her softly. 

But people were around, and that held a punishment. And to be honest, Clarke wasn’t so bold. She still wanted to get to know Lexa first. And it seemed Lexa wanted to get to know her, too. 

“Fine, I’ll read this book. But don’t expect much from me,” Clarke said.

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Lexa said.

Clarke took the book back to her bunk, fully intending to read it until it was time for Lexa to go to the garden. But that wasn’t meant to be. Clarke woke up to Octavia poking her through the bars, Lexa not there anymore.

“What happened? I was ‘spose to go with Lexa,” Clarke mumbled.

“She is showering. Again. You fell asleep and she didn’t want to wake you up so she went by herself. On the plus side, your laundry is now clean and dry. Yay for clean laundry! Now wake up. It’s three o’clock. You’ve slept enough. Lexa said when you woke up I could make coffee. Are you awake now?” Octavia asked, poking Clarke again who laughed.

“I’m up, ‘Tavia. Come on over. I could use a cup of coffee, too. And I got the cinnamon jawbreakers to spice the coffee up. You want one?” Clarke asked and Octavia nodded excitedly.

They both hopped off their bunks, Clarke noticing her laundry bag on the foot of her bed. Apparently she had slept curled up in a ball because she didn’t knock it over when she got down. Octavia was already in her cell, cup of instant coffee waiting on the hot water. Clarke dug out of her commissary bag two cinnamon jawbreakers and gave one to Octavia. They threw them down on the floor a few times with force, to crack the balls into pieces. Then they opened the little bag they came in and dumped the pieces into their cup. Given enough time, the jaw breaker would melt and make the coffee have a yummy cinnamon taste. 

Clarke took one of her bottles of water and poured it into Lexa’s hotpot, and then plugged said hotpot into the wall outlet. She yawned hugely, still waking up, but at least well rested. Hopefully she’d be able to sleep at night. 

“So, I don’t need to tell you to be careful, do I?” Octavia asked in a whisper, as Deidre and Stephanie were in the cell. Cynthia didn’t count because she didn’t know English enough to decipher anything they were saying.

“I am being careful, Octavia. This is going to go slow. I just…” Clarke trailed off, not sure what to say. 

Octavia nodded. “I know, I just worry about you,” Octavia said, brushing hair out of Clarke’s face.

“I know. I appreciate that. I’m just trying to get to know her,” Clarke whispered back.

“I know, kid. Just whatever you do end up doing later on, don’t let the guards know. Some might be cool but others are assholes. So just… be extremely careful,” Octavia cautioned. 

Lexa walked into the cell, still towel drying her hair. Her face brightened when she saw Clarke, and Clarke just knew this was going to be hard to hide if it did turn into anything. 

Clarke smiled back at Lexa, who dropped onto her bed and patted next to her for Clarke to sit down.

“How was laundry, O?” Lexa asked.

Octavia shrugged. “It wasn’t too bad. A lot of the same, and a lot of free time. But no worries. I got y’alls laundry done first, and I’ll try to every day I work. How was the garden?” Octavia asked.

“It was fine. I do most of the weed pulling. Everyone else is so eager to plant they forget they have to do maintenance. So I end up doing it. But it’s calming. So I can’t really complain,” Lexa explained.

Octavia nodded. 

Clarke said, “Sorry I didn’t go with you.”

Lexa smiled her brilliant smile. “Clarke, it’s no big deal. You were tired. I understand. Prison is an adjustment. Trust me, I know that. There is always Thursday when you don’t have class. Eventually I’ll rope you into it.”

Clarke decided to be bold and said, “You won’t have to try very hard.”

Octavia looked away to give them privacy. And Lexa’s face lit up like the setting sun. It was beautiful. _She_ was beautiful. She looked like a Nordic goddess or something. Clarke was sure none of the women she’d dated had ever been as pretty. 

Octavia cleared her throat and glanced back at them, breaking the spell. Lexa checked the hotpot and shook her head.

“Sorry, O, not quite yet. By the way, Indra was looking for you. Not sure why, but get some coffee first,” Lexa said.

Octavia nodded. “Thank you for passing the information on,” Octavia said.

Lexa nodded with a small smile. 

“I am going to sleep tomorrow!” Octavia exclaimed.

“Lucky you. I have class, and I’m not sure how hard or easy it is going to be,” Clarke said dryly. 

“Hey,” Octavia said, putting a hand up to effectively shut down Clarke. “You chose it. Could have been in the laundry room with me! But noooo, you wanted to do education. I have zero sympathy.”

Lexa chuckled and Clarke scowled and shook her head, but she still loved Octavia. 

“So should I switch just so I can spend more time with you?” Clarke teased.

Octavia shrugged. “Hey, do what you want. It’s smart of you to work on your degree here. You need to do something for yourself. I just don’t want to hear you whine about it being hard. If it wasn’t hard you wouldn’t learn shit.”

And of course, Octavia was right. Lexa poured their water into their coffee cups, a wry smile on her face as though she found this whole thing amusing. Octavia, never one to wait for her coffee to even cool, take a gulp and gasped. Clarke had to laugh. This was classic Octavia.

“Okay, I’m going to see if Indra is in her cell or not. Peace out, bitches,” Octavia said as she got to her feet and sauntered out.

“Can everyone be quiet so we can all sleep before dinner?” grumbled Stephanie as she put an eye mask over her face and popped some ear plugs in.

And it was noisy. With most people coming back from work there was a lot going on. Everyone was sharing about their days and trading stuff with one another. There were a lot of voices. But Clarke thought that made it feel less like prison and more like camp. She had to view it that way to deal with it because it wasn’t fun. But maybe class would help time pass faster for her.

Clarke sipped her coffee, and Lexa studied her face, which made Clarke’s cheeks burn, but she tried to pretend she didn’t notice.

“Lexa!” Octavia screeched, running to their cell.

“They’re jumping Lynn!” she panted.

And just like that, Lexa was on her feet and running after Octavia to the very source of the problem. And Clarke couldn’t let Lexa go alone so she followed, stopping only to put her coffee down on her night stand. Stephanie was on her heels, having heard Octavia. Clarke knew her and Lynn were friends. 

And by the time Clarke got there, Lexa was in the midst of doing martial arts moves on the group of women—five in total—who had jumped Lynn. Indra and Octavia were part of the fight, helping Lexa.

When everyone was done fighting, a guard came running up.

“Who did it?” he demanded.

And though Lexa was panting, no one pointed. Everyone shrugged, and Stephanie said “Did what?” in a confused tone. 

“Don’t make me roll back the cameras,” the guard warned.

“And deal with paperwork over me showing off some martial arts moves? I’m teaching the ladies,” Lexa said, and everyone nodded.

The guard glared, but decided it was best not to argue and walked away, muttering about time wasters.

Once he was gone, Lexa spoke in a voice that carried throughout the audience.

“I don’t care who did what. We don’t ‘jump’ each other. If I have to sort this out again, there _will_ be consequences. I would make damn sure this doesn’t happen again, or Trikru will handle this. And there’s more of us than there are of you,” Lexa ordered, helping Lynn up and walking off.

And just like that, Clarke knew that Lexa did indeed run the prison, and apparently with a gang of women.

So why wasn’t Clarke more afraid?

She walked back to the cell feeling conflicted about everything to do with Lexa. The woman was obviously lethal, but she’d never done anything to harm Clarke or Octavia. She even seemed partial to O. So she was a bad ass, who cared? Someone needed to make it clear that you didn’t just jump people like that. It was terrible. Lynn’s had a black eye and a split open lip. No one deserved that.

Lexa was already on her bed, talking softly to a crying Lynn. 

“Why’d they do that?” Stephanie demanded as she followed Clarke into the cell.

“I didn’t make store this week, the money came in a day late. So I couldn’t pay Trix back her coffee. I told her that I would next week, and I guess she wanted to make an example out of me. I thought she was my friend,” Lynn cried.

And Stephanie was there immediately, wrapping an arm around Lynn, talking to her in hushed tones. But Clarke only had eyes for Lexa, who was massaging her wrist from where she’d hit someone. 

Clarke sat on her bed and took Lexa’s hand, gently feeling it, but finding nothing alarming. 

“You should have stayed here,” Lexa said.

“Like hell I should have. If you’re there, I’m there,” Clarke muttered and missed the smile that graced Lexa’s face.

Few days in and already someone had been jumped. Someone Clarke knew.

Welcome to fucking Polis Prison.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like the story, please leave a comment! Enjoy this chapter!

When Clarke woke up, it was two a.m. and the cell doors were still closed. Lexa was sleeping, as was everyone else in their tank. Including Octavia.

But Clarke couldn’t sleep. The previous days events were churning in her head. As she watched Lexa sleep from her top bunk she thought of the Bruce Lee like moves Lexa had pulled. She easily could have gotten hurt. Thankfully she hadn’t. Clarke wasn’t sure she would have been able to handle that. Or even worse, Lexa getting set to Seg. No more Lexa was a painful thought.

Lexa had said Clarke could use her hotpot whenever, so Clarke quietly jumped down and got it, pouring half a bottle of water into it. She would make coffee and work on a drawing. Yesterday one of Raven’s cellmates had asked Clarke to do an easter card for her daughter. Easter wasn’t too far off, it was April… first, today. April Fool’s day. Did they celebrate that in prison? Clarke had no idea what to expect.

She got her colored pencils and regular pencil off her nightstand and began drawing. Somewhere someone cut a radio on low, so Clarke knew she wasn’t the only one who couldn’t sleep. And she knew part of that had to do with having her first day of class today. But mostly, every time she looked over at Lexa’s sleeping form, she found she wanted to curl up with her. And that was _definitely_ against the rules.

So Clarke drew little eggs, and put more detail into decorating them than she really needed to, but it was a welcome distraction from her mind. She sipped her coffee and drew. It didn’t take too long to finish the card. Around three thirty she was done, and that was having put an Easter Bunny hopping along on it. 

When Clarke finished, she put the card under her mattress and looked back and over at Lexa, who was slowly waking up. She reached for her hotpot, and when she didn’t find it, sat up. But then she noticed Clarke was awake and holding up a cup of coffee, and Lexa relaxed. She got out of bed, fixing a cup of coffee, and padded over to Clarke. Apparently she slept with her socks on, which Clarke found adorable.

“Morning, Lexa,” Clarke said softly.

Lexa smiled. “Morning Clarke. How long have you been up?”

Clarke shrugged and then said, “I woke up at like two.”

Lexa nodded. “Just couldn’t sleep anymore?” Lexa asked.

Clarke shook her head no.

“It happens. I recommend getting a book light so you can more easily draw without squinting or even—gasp—read a book. Come over to my bunk, so we can talk better,” Lexa said, turning and walking back to her bunk. Clarke hopped down and followed Lexa, taking her coffee with her. 

She sat down on Lexa’s bed and set her cup on Lexa’s nightstand. It was eerily quiet besides the soft playing of someone’s radio. Although Clarke had the feeling that the owner had perhaps fallen back asleep. But maybe she was wrong and someone else was awake. There really was no way of telling.

“Do you like music?” Lexa asked, voice still soft and sleepy. And Clarke couldn’t help but take her appearance in. Thermal shirt with brief shorts. Her hair mused up and falling in waves. She was stunning. 

“Yeah, I love music,” Clarke responded.

“They have portable walkmans on commissary. I use mine when gardening. It’s like eleven or fifteen bucks, so its not too bad. What kind of music do you like?” Lexa asked.

Clarke shrugged. “Really, it depends on the lyrics. If I like the lyrics then it’s my type of music. What about you?” Clarke asked.

“Same. But I also like some songs just for the beat, so I guess it just all depends on my mood at the time the song is playing,” Lexa replied and took a sip of coffee.

Clarke nodded. “Makes sense. So do you get up this early every morning?” Clarke asked.

“Usually. It gives me personal time.”

Clarke felt awkward. “Well I don’t want to invade that or take that away from you…”

Lexa laughed softly. “Clarke, you aren’t. I enjoy talking to you. And this is the time where we can be most us. Don’t worry,” Lexa assured her.

Clarke blushed and gave a soft laugh, trying to be respectful of those still asleep. Lexa pulled out her trunk and pulled a bag of hazelnut cappuccino out, pouring some into Clarke’s cup before she could protest, and using her spoon to stir it. 

“My treat,” Lexa said with a smile, and Clarke had to smile back.

“Okay, but next time is on me.”

Lexa nodded as she poured a little of the cappuccino into her cup, stirring it in. Clarke sipped at hers and found it surprisingly good. Polis was easier on the bank account than city, and it had plenty more perks to it than city. Like pretty girls. And sure, someone had been jumped—poor Lynn—but Clarke had seen riots in City. So all things considered, it wasn’t too bad here.

“Do you have any tattoos?” Lexa asked.

“I was planning one, but I never got it,” Clarke explained.

“You should do tattoos. In here. You could practice on me. You’d never have a shortage of anything then.”

Clarke shook her head. “I’m not good on skin. My art is great on paper but skin moves and can stretch. I just don’t think I’m cut out for that. I would like to get one tattoo though. Just not sure yet what.”

Lexa nodded. “Prison tatts aren’t the best, but they also aren’t the worst depending on who does them. If you ever decide you want to get one, I know where you can get a good one. I had one done here.”

“Really?” Clarke found herself inquiring.

Lexa nodded and took off her thermal shirt, causing Clarke’s face to grow hot as she looked at miles of stomach, tatted up, and a small handful of breasts, trapped in her sports bra.

Lexa pointed at her left shoulder and there was an equality sign there. It didn’t look like a prison tattoo. In fact it looked great. Clarke ran a hand over it—any excuse to touch Lexa—to see if you could feel it, and you almost could. But not quite.

Lexa shrugged her thermal shirt back on much to Clarke’s displeasure, although of course she didn’t voice it. Even if they were the only two up, Lexa didn’t _yet_ need to know how interested in her Clarke was.

Clarke grabbed her cup of hazelnut coffee/cappuccino mixture and took a sip. Lexa cut her radio on, on low, and found an easy listening station playing music Clarke had grown up listening to. She settled herself more comfortably on the bed and closed her eyes, picturing the house she had grown up in as the music washed over her.

When she opened her eyes, probably a minute into the first song, Lexa was watching Clarke, a small smile on her face. 

“I don’t want to look dumb in front of a classroom full of people,” Clarke whined, meaning her class for that day.

“You won’t. There are women of all education levels in there. You’re no worse than any of them. I promise it isn’t too hard, and if you think it is, I’ll help you study,” Lexa said.

“Promise?” Clarke said.

“Promise,” Lexa responded. 

“How old are you?” Lexa asked her after a pause in the conversation.

“I’m twenty-two How old are you?” Clarke asked. 

“I’m twenty-eight. Got here when I was twenty-three. You’re so young,” Lexa said softly.

Clarke shook her head. “Not really. Still an adult capable of making bad life decisions as this proves,” she joked.

“Am I just a bad life decision?” Lexa whispered, leaning in so that their faces were closer together.

“No. You’re the only good life decision I’ve made since I got here,” Clarke said, her eyes lingering on Lexa’s lips.

Lexa placed her hand on Clarke’s face, running her thumb along Clarke’s lips, just tracing them, leaving the decision up to Clarke.

And it was an easy decision. Clarke closed the distance between them and kissed Lexa, hard. No one was up. No one made a peep. They were free to kiss and run hands through each other’s hair and feel the miles of skin on the other. And it was a head rush. Kissing Lexa was like riding a roller coaster. There were ups and downs, and it was all thrilling new territory.

“Clarke?” Octavia’s voice groggily called out, and Lexa pulled away, leaving her hand on Clarke’s face a moment longer, staring into Clarke’s eyes with an intensity that made Clarke wish they were miles away, in her bed, with no one to interrupt them.

“Clarke!” came Octavia’s frantic voice.

Clarke stood up slowly, still feeling slightly light headed, and then walked over to her bunk and climbed up.

“You okay?” Clarke asked Octavia.

Octavia nodded, eyes half closed. “Bad dream. You got hurt. Had to make sure you were ‘kay.”

“Go back to sleep, O. I’m just fine,” Clarke said.

When Octavia was back asleep, Clarke climbed back down. But she knew the moment was over. More radios were cutting on. More people were pulling out book lights. The day room even had two women in it with their bibles. But Clarke sat down on Lexa’s bed, and the two women talked softly. About their pasts—Lexa had been part of the Cartel since she was thirteen!—and about what they hoped for in the future. And if they held hands under Lexa’s blanket, no one else knew. 

When the lights cut on, Clarke slid her jesus sandals on and followed Lexa—waiting for Octavia—to the dining room. Clarke was still riding high off her and Lexa’s kiss, and she found her eyes straying to Lexa more than usual.

Breakfast wasn’t bad. Grits, oatmeal, toast, and eggs. It was very filling, and Clarke found herself listening to Octavia’s bad dream.

“And instead of Lynn getting jumped, it was you! So of course I freaked the geek out when I woke up and didn’t see you there. I thought maybe it had actually happened. I was so relieved when I saw you, kid. Just be careful. I worry about you,” Octavia rambled on.

“That sounds awful, ‘Tavia. I’m sorry. But as you see I am in tip-top condition. Just a little worried about class,” Clarke said.

And the talk continued on, with them leaving breakfast together and going into the showers at the same time for once. Clarke enjoyed her shower, feeling the hot water clean her off. And now she had an actual washcloth she felt like she was getting herself even cleaner.

When she got back to her cell, brushing her hair along the way, Lexa wasn’t there. She was probably still in the shower. But Clarke had on clean panties and a fresh sports bra, and she felt wonderful. Despite being worried about class. Because really, Clarke was a worrier. But Lexa soothed that away the minute she came walking into the cell, brushing her hair out so it looked soft and silky like always. 

“Coffee shot?” Clarke asked from on top of her bunk.

“Ooh,” came Stephanie’s voice. “Can I join if I provide the soda?”

“Hey,” Octavia shouted, running into their cell. “Don’t forget about me!”

And so they set their cups in a line on the floor, Stephanie adding Dr. Pepper to each one. They clinked cups and downed it.

“Anyone want another?” Stephanie asked. Everyone else declined, so Stephanie went ahead with her second coffee shot. 

“Okay,” Octavia said, back in her cell. “I’m going back to bed.”

“After a coffee shot?” Lexa asked. 

Octavia was in boxers and a sports bra when she said, “Not even caffeine can stop me from getting good ole sleep today!”

Clarke laughed and took the card she’d finished to Raven’s cellmate. She took the bottle of aspirin and Ibuprofen to her cell, thinking they could come in handy. 

When she got back to her cell, Lexa was greasing Indra’s scalp methodically, as though they’d done it hundreds of times, and they probably had. 

“What’d you get?” Lexa asked without looking up.

“Aspirin and Ibuprofen. I figured if I don’t feel well, or on my period days, this will definitely come in handy,” Clarke responded.

“And I have benadryl if you ever need some. And triple antibiotic ointment. And cocoa butter is great for new tattoos in here,” Lexa said.

“Clarke, can I use your eye mask since you’re going to class?” Octavia asked.

“Yeah, of course, ‘Tavia.”

“If you want,” Lexa said as she got down to the edge of Indra’s scalp, “I can make you one Octavia. I just need two tampons and a pad. I use the string from the tampons and… well I can make them.”

“How about you keep that one, ‘Tavia, and I’ll give Lexa the stuff to make another one,” Clarke said.

Octavia gave the thumbs up and burrowed under her covers. 

When Clarke looked back, Indra was getting up, taking her hair grease with her, muttering about another day in fucking electrical. 

Clarke gave Lexa the pad and tampons, as Beyonce blasted on someone’s radio. Stephanie was dancing to it comically, and Clarke had to laugh, which only enthused Stephanie who got more vigorous with her dancing. 

It took Lexa maybe five minutes to make the eye mask, and it was just as good as the one she’d given to Octavia. She slipped it under her pillow for bed time, climbed onto her bunk, and pulled out the book Lexa had given her. It was eight, so she had two hours to kill, and reading didn’t sound like a bad way to do it.

And then Lexa was reminding Clarke of the time and offering to walk her to class. So Clarke set the book down and hopped off the top bunk, almost falling over for the first time, which was kind of embarrassing. But Lexa steadied her, and they trotted down the hall and down the stairs to the classes. 

Clarke stood at the doorway to the classroom, wondering what would happen if she just refused to go in. But Lexa was watching her, and Clarke wasn’t a coward. This was best for her. She said good-bye to Lexa and walked into the room, which was just beginning to fill up. 

“Are you Clarke Griffin?” the instructor, a kind looking woman asked. Clarke nodded.

“I’m Becca, your teacher. It’s not quite time for class to begin, but any of the back row of computers are open. You’ll be doing a placement test today, and then we’ll go from there, okay?” Becca asked sweetly and Clarke nodded, feeling a little under prepared. She hadn’t expected any type of test on her first day.

The room filled up, and Becca stood up, instructing them to all start typing. She then went over to Clarke and showed her how to pull up the placement test. It was long—and boring—but by noon break she was done. She went to lunch and practically ran over to Octavia, but she didn’t see Lexa anywhere. She must have eaten noodles or something. 

“How is class?” Octavia asked.

“It’s alright. Took a placement test, now we wait to see what that says. I’m just tired and bored. How was your nap?” Clarke responded.

Octavia sighed happily. “It was glorious. I don’t know what I’m going to do next, but that nap was awesome.”

Clarke flicked a kernel of corn at Octavia who simply laughed.

“Hey, you got to sleep yesterday! Today is my day, and I am going to enjoy it. Although after this I don’t really see myself going back to sleep, but still,” Octavia said.

After lunch Clarke went back to her class, and back to going over the placement test with Becca. Apparently she’d scored pretty high, and was able to jump directly into class, which was online and done through the local college. She started with math and Computer Basics, since she didn’t want to overload her brain. And really, it wasn’t hard. It was simply doing it and following along with a textbook that Becca had given her.

At the end of class, Clarke practically ran for the door, wanting so badly to see Lexa. But when she got back, Lexa wasn’t there, and Clarke had to really try not to visibly deflate. But Octavia was on her bunk drinking coffee, writing Lincoln a letter. Or maybe it was to her brother, Clarke couldn’t be sure. All she knew was that Octavia was the queen of long letters. She could write for pages and pages.

“How was class?” Octavia asked as Clarke climbed onto her bunk.

“Not too bad, just highly boring. How was your free day?” Clarke asked back.

“It was good. I called my brother, and even though he is very upset with me, he’s going to put money on my books. So between Lincoln and Bellamy I should make store every week still. And Bellamy promised he’d visit, but he works this weekend, so he’s shooting for next weekend. But I get to see Lincoln and met your mom and step-dad, so I’m excited. Apparently your mom is picking Lincoln up. She said she has enough money to pay for gas, thank you much. I already love your mom,” Octavia rambled. 

Clarke couldn’t help but smile. When all else failed, ‘Tavia’s rambling usually brought Clarke into a better mood. So maybe Lexa wasn’t there right this second, but Clarke still had her best friend next to her. And really. Didn’t that make all the difference in the world?

“Clarke,” Angela said as she walked into the cell, “You have mail.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like the story PLEASE leave a review. It gives me a ton of inspiration when I see that people are enjoying my work.
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr @thatonewitchwhovapes (if I get enough followers I'll do sneak previews for the next chapter before it's released!)

Clarke woke up early the next morning. She had that day free, and she wanted to spend time with Lexa. On top of that, Wells’ letter was playing through her mind. She pulled it out from under her mattress to read again and look at the picture he had enclosed.

_Clarke,_

_Hey best friend! Damn… what a journey. Your mom JUST gave me your information. Dude, I miss the hell out of you! Our Monday coffee spot is a constant reminder that you’re gone, and I have to say I wish you were back here. It’s bogus what they charged you with. It was just some pot! But apparently your judge did NOT have a thing for blondes._  
I can’t make it this weekend, but I will be coming to visit you soon! I got a new car! My part time job at Best Buy is killing it! I love Geek Squad. And like I said, NEW CAR! It’s nothing fancy, but it’s better than my old Corolla (may it rest in car heaven).   
I’m sending a picture because I want you to have something from home to look at. Look at how little we were!   
I know this is short, but I’m sending it out anyways.   
Love,  
Wells 

And that was the letter. Her best friend being his usual enthusiastic self. He couldn’t help it, it was just who he was, and Clarke loved that about him. She put the letter and the picture under her bed. Next week she’d get a photo album to store her pictures in. For now, under her mattress would have to do.

Clarke looked back to see Lexa just waking up, and she hopped down off her bunk, pulling out her instant coffee, cup, creamer, and cappuccino. She took it all to Lexa’s bed and sat down.

Lexa smiled at her.

“Hey, Clarke,” she said softly, sleep still in her voice.

“Hey, Lexa.”

“Need some hot water?” Lexa asked.

“I do. And I brought my cappuccino with for you to use this morning, since I did say next time was my treat,” Clarke said with a smile. 

Lexa gave a soft, tinkling laugh and let Clarke scoop some cappuccino into her cup. The two women sat there a moment, stirring their respective coffee mixtures, and then took a sip. Clarke groaned it was so good. It was as close to Starbucks as she was going to get anytime soon, at the least.

She set her cup on Lexa’s nightstand, and opened her mouth to talk when a guard flashed a light on them. 

“You two doing anything?” Nyko asked gruffly. They both shook their heads. 

Nyko popped open the door and told them to take their talking to the day room.

“You’re new here, right?” he asked Clarke who nodded.

“Sit down and let me give you some advice,” Nyko growled.

Clarke sat down with Lexa sitting beside her and Nyko across from her.

“Prison can make or break you,” Nyko began. “But if you weren’t into drugs before, now isn’t the time to try them. And if you were, now is the time to stay clean. Most of the guards like to pretend we don’t have a drug problem, but it’s prison. All prisons have it. Stick with Woods here, you’ll be golden.”

“Whatever you two are doing, don’t get caught doing anything. I’m not saying you two are, lord knows enough of these women are just best friends, but if you do like women, don’t get caught. Won’t make life no easier. Now, have you talked to your parents?” Nyko asked.

Clarke nodded. “My mom, I have. She and my step-dad are coming to see me this weekend. I feel like I really let her down. And then my step-dad is an officer so that makes it even harder.”

“He a decent guy?” Nyko asked.

“He’s a great guy. When they first got together my mom wore her wedding ring around her neck, my dad passed away from cancer, and Marcus told her she didn’t need to ever take it off. My dad made her part of who she was, and he understood. He’s… he’s a real good guy and I disappointed him, too. I can’t even bring myself to call him,” Clarke said, mumbling the last bit.

“Don’t think like that. He’s your step-dad, and it sounds like he cares about you. This isn’t the time to be prideful. Let your loved ones know your sorry. Let them know you won’t end up in here again. Let them be there for you. Step-dads can be good support. Trust me, I know. I have a step-daughter myself. And I’d die for that little girl,” Nyko said. Clarke nodded.

“What are you here for?” Nyko asked and Clarke explained it to him.

“That’s a tough break. But do what I said and you’ll be fine. This isn’t the end of the world, kid. It’s just a stumbling block. You’ll make it just fine.”

And with that Nyko got up and continued his rounds. Clarke let out a breath she hadn’t known she’d been holding. She had fully expected to get in trouble. For what, she didn’t know. Maybe just for looking at Lexa like she made the sun rise. If anyone could tell.

“Sorry, I forgot it was Nyko’s morning. He always does that. He’s really not bad though. Want me to go grab our coffees?” Lexa asked and Clarke nodded.

Lexa came back with their cups and set Clarke’s down in front of her. Clarke took a sip, and then determining that it wasn’t too hot, took a gulp. It eased her down from the fear that she’d been about to get into trouble.

“Just remember, Thursday and Friday mornings are Nyko’s days. And he always does that, like I said. So tomorrow morning we just talk out here. And then it’ll be back to the regularly scheduled programming. But Nyko is cool, so don’t worry,” Lexa assured her.

Clarke nodded. “I’m just glad I wasn’t… we weren’t…” 

And Clarke was fumbling over her words because Lexa did that to her. She made Clarke useless sometimes. Especially now, with Lexa’s hand over hers, assuring her that she’d never let them get in trouble, she’d protect Clarke no matter what. And Clarke believed it. 

“So, who wrote you? You kind of kept to yourself after you got your letter yesterday,” Lexa said, brushing the hair out of Clarke’s face like it was second nature.

“Wells, my best friend I told you about. He even sent a picture from when we were kids. He’s got a better job, a new car, and promises to visit. It was… nice. Hurt though, if that makes sense…” Clarke tried to explain.

Lexa nodded. “It makes perfect sense. Visits are great… until they’re gone. Then it hurts. But it’s better than nothing. At least you have a letter—and a picture—you can hold on to. That makes it a little bit easier.”

Clarke nodded, taking a swig of coffee and thinking about Wells. What would he say if he could see her now? 

“Don’t dwell on it, Clarke. Just be grateful you have him. Too much thinking can be a bad thing,” Lexa warned.

Clarke nodded. “You’re right. I just don’t know how you’ve managed to stay sane.”

Lexa shrugged. “There’s literally NOTHING I can do to make this change. All I can do is change how I look at it. One day we will be home. Until then we have to do our best. And it sounds like you have a great support system. I’ll be crashing on someone’s couch since my sister decided to take over with the Cartel for me and is deep into the drug trade. I can’t go back to that.”

“Crash on my couch,” Clarke suggested without even thinking.

Lexa looked pleased. “Let’s see how you feel when the time comes. But Clarke?”

And Clarke, who’d been looking down at her coffee cup, side straddling the metal bench, looked up. Lexa brought one of her hands up to Clarke’s face, gently caressing her cheek before she dropped it and said, “I’d like that a lot.”

And if Clarke viewed that as a win, who could blame her?

And then Clarke heard what could only be rain, and Lexa’s face lit up.

“You know what this means?” Lexa asked her and Clarke shook her head.

“No work for me today! If it’s raining as hard as it sounds they won’t let us out in the mud!”

And for a wild moment Clarke thought Lexa was going to kiss her, and maybe she’d been about to before she remembered exactly where they were. But in the end she gave Clarke a hug, and Clarke thought maybe, with days like this, she could hold onto her sanity. Maybe Lexa could be her light at the end of the tunnel.

Octavia trudged over to them in her jesus sandals, holding her hands out for Clarke’s cup, and taking a sip of Clarke’s coffee.

“I can’t sleep when it rains,” Octavia mumbled.

“You want me to get my hotpot so you can make a cup of coffee?” Lexa asked and Octavia nodded and sat down across from them. 

Lexa ran to get her hotpot and a bottle of water, which ‘Tavia promised she’d pay back. Lexa set it up and plugged it into an outlet near them. 

“So I get off work today!” Lexa whispered loudly, and very enthusiastically. 

Octavia groaned, “I don’t. I still have to do laundry. And it’s such a necessity that I can’t be mad. Clarke, remember to get the detergent next commissary. It’s seriously so much better than what they give us.”

Clarke nodded. “Just remind me. That or if someone wants to pay me, I’ll see if I can’t get it.”

“It’d possibly be easier to buy it, otherwise you won’t get a full thing of it,” Lexa suggested. 

“Smart,” Octavia mumbled, waiting for the hotpot to warm up enough that she could have her morning coffee.

“What are you two always doing up so early?” Octavia asked after a moment of silence.

“Talking,” Lexa said.

“You can’t do it in the daytime? It’s four a.m., this is crazy. Well as long as you don’t wake people up, I don’t give a damn,” Octavia said.

Clarke laughed softly. “I would never interfere with your sleep, ‘Tavia.”

“That’s because you love me and value your life,” Octavia said. 

“I could take you, O. No threatening Clarke,” Lexa teased as she poured hot water into Octavia’s cup.

Octavia snorted. “Fine, no threatening your girlfriend. I’ll behave… but I might throw something at you if you do wake me up.”

And Clarke’s face was burning because was she really Lexa’s girlfriend? Had it happened this soon? And Lexa’s hand was holding hers under the table and Clarke felt so giddy and over the moon. Lexa was her girlfriend or her future girlfriend, Clarke knew that much, and it thrilled her. She wasn’t a completely useless bisexual, as Wells often liked to joke she was.

“Clarke met Nyko this morning,” Lexa said to Octavia.

“Nyko’s here today? Fuck yes, I love that dude! He is seriously the coolest. Was he nice to you Clarke?” Octavia asked, drinking her coffee as though it wasn’t burning hot.

“He was. He’s very caring,” Clarke said, trying to ignore the fact that Lexa was rubbing circles into the back of Clarke’s hand.

“Yeah he’s one of the best guards here,” Lexa replied.

“That doesn’t surprise me,” Clarke answered.

“Yeah, he actually gives a fuck about us, unlike fucking Murphy,” Octavia bit out.

“Whose Murphy?” Clarke asked, brow furrowed.

“Lexa, I’ll let you answer this one,” Octavia said picking up her cup of coffee and drinking from it.

Lexa sighed and began to explain.

“Murphy is—obviously—one of the guards. But he’s the worst one. He deals. For a blow job he’ll get you high. So for the addicts here it’s very difficult. And like Nyko said, every prison has drugs. But it’s not a good thing. This should be a place of recovery. Murphy chased Kayla around, trying to get her to blow him for some smack, but she refused. That was one strong-willed woman.”

“Was that who Nyko meant I should stay away from?” Clarke asked Lexa who nodded.

“That’s terrible that he does that. I will stay as far away from him as possible,” Clarke vowed.

“He was in the laundry room Tuesday, hopefully he isn’t there again. Besides dealing he’s just an asshole,” Octavia explained. “He gets off on putting women down. It’s pathetic.”

Stephanie and Deidre stumbled over, Stephanie with her hotpot and Deidre with just a cup.

“Are we having a rain storm slumber party?” Stephanie asked and Clarke laughed.

“Yes, that’s exactly what we’re having. Come join us!” Clarke enthused, surprised to see Stephanie up so early. She voiced this to Stephanie who shrugged.

“It’s been known to happen on occasion. When Kayla was here I always got up early because _she_ got up early. Fuck, I miss her,” Stephanie whined.

“I know, Steph, but she is coming to see you this weekend. She is doing well; really well. Be happy for her and proud of her,” Deidre said.

“Yeah,” Lexa said. “She got out and is setting up house for you two. Since when does that ever happen? You got eight months left. You can do this.”

“Thanks, guys. I need that reminder sometimes,” Stephanie said softly.

“Now is it just me,” Deidre began, “Or is it time for us to pitch in and make a spread?”

Everyone was enthusiastic about this, especially Clarke. She donated noodles and a cheese pouch. Lexa donated salsa. Deidre donated refried beans and tortillas, and Stephanie donated a soda to everyone. It was a good way to break in the day. The spread was good, a little different, but mixing all that food was bound to be a little weird. But when in Rome…

So they all sat there, eating and joking with one another. It turned out Deidre could be quite the comedian when she wanted to be. Clarke was sure her laughter had woken some of the other women up, which they would be pissed about, but it was just too good of a time to pass up.

When the lights turned on, everyone put their respective hotpots up and filed to the dining hall, where through the shatter-resistant glass they could see the down pour happening outside. There was lightning, and the rain was coming down hard. There was no way they were sending Lexa outside in this, and as the lights flickered Clarke felt a thrill of fear for the unknown. What would happen if the power went out? Were there back up generators?

Clarke found herself glancing around at all the lights. She found herself wanting to grab a hold of Lexa’s arm and not let go.

Breakfast went off without a hitch, and so did showers. No more flickering lights, just normal electricity. 

Until the power went out completely, and the generators lit up strip lighting that barely anyone could see. Then those lights flickered, went out—Clarke may have lightly cried out at this point—and the flood lights came on. It was no darker than it was when they slept. There were cheers, and plenty of the women crawled back onto their bunks, shirts and pants being changed for sleepwear.

Clarke looked over at Octavia, who was already saying a thank you to whatever gods were above before slipping her sleep mask on.

And then Nyko was in the tank, screaming above the din, effectively silencing everyone.

“Laundry will be done later today or tomorrow, depending when the lights come back on. It’s an outage all across town. Kitchen workers, you still have duty, you’re prepped for this. Everyone else… sleep, read, but don’t get loud. And _don’t_ make me roll back the cameras. They are on the generator. Free day!”

Everyone cheered, and the next thing Clarke knew, Lexa was telling her to grab a soda and join her. Octavia came over, apparently wanting to join in on the fun instead of going back to sleep. Stephanie suggested coffee shots, Lynn even joined in with the cheering. It was like a slumber party. Deidre busted out some chips, and they all sat on the floor in the cell, eating and taking coffee shots. Stephanie got Octavia to do three, after which Octavia was practically shaking from the caffeine. 

“Okay,” Stephanie said, “Everyone get a soda. Let’s play never have I ever!”

Everyone groaned, and they proceeded to ignore Stephanie’s terrible idea that would surely end up with everyone being embarrassed. With that game it was inevitable. 

“Come on, guys!” Stephanie whined.

“No one wants a jailhouse version of that game, Steph. Now, give us real alcohol and things would be different,” Deidre said, and Clarke snorted.

“You guys suck,” Stephanie proclaimed.

They all had to laugh at her pouty face. 

“I have cards,” Lynn said. “Who wants to play poker?”

And just like that they were all together for a fun day.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember to follow me @thatonewitchwhovapes on tumblr, and to send me all the headcanons about Clexa!
> 
> And thank you all again for all the reviews.

Someone—namely Octavia—had the bright idea to tell ghost stories in the dark. So they were doing that when, an hour before lunch, the lights came back on. And Clarke had to admit she was glad they did because some of those stories were a little creepy. Especially the last one Lexa had told about the aliens coming. Clarke shivered just thinking of it. She was one for a good scary story, but so many at once freaked her out like it would anyone. Anyone but ‘Tavia who seemed to be gleeful every time someone told another story. Crazy girl, but Clarke loved her.

Nyko came in twenty minutes before lunch and announced that laundry workers would start after eating lunch. Octavia groaned and Clarke smirked, thinking it was perfect payback for having to endure all those creepy stories.

“Can the lights go out again so we can continue our campfire creep-fest?” Octavia groaned.

“No!” Clarke said, maybe a little too loudly as ‘Tavia started to laugh.

“You scared, kid?” she teased Clarke.

Clarke flushed. “I’m not scared just… a little creeped out is all.”

Octavia laughed and slung her arm around Clarke’s shoulder.

“I promise, I won’t let the aliens get ya,” she joked and Clarke couldn’t help but to roll her eyes.

“We’ll protect you, Clarke,” Lexa grinned.

And Clarke couldn’t help but to groan from the embarrassment of them knowing shit like that creeped her out. Now she’d never hear the end of it from ‘Tavia.

Lunch was pushed back an hour, so they all had time to talk. Deidre told some jokes (”And then the first guy said to the second guy, “You almost had it! Why’d you laugh?” and the second guy said, “Because I saw the third guy coming with pineapples!”). Lynn sang along to the radio, oddly on key. Or maybe it was just odd to Clarke because she herself couldn’t carry a tune. 

By the time lunch came around (grilled cheese and tomato soup) Clarke was kind of grateful for a break from the cell. It wasn’t as imposing anymore now that she’d been there a few days, but it still was kind of foreboding during scary stories, and that had probably creeped her out even more if she were being perfectly honest.

“This grilled cheese is so good,” Octavia groaned as she dunked it in the tomato soup and took a bite.

“Yeah, cuz it’s real cheese,” Lexa said.

“I can tell. Oh my gods. So good,” Octavia whined, taking another bite of soup dunked grilled cheese.

Clarke had to laugh; Octavia was funny. But she was right; the grilled cheese was delicious, and with the rain hitting the window it felt almost comfy. She knew she was starting to settle in.

A woman Clarke knew only by a few sightings came up to Lexa and whispered in her ear. Lexa thanked her, but her demeanor completely changed. 

“We got business to take care of?” Indra almost whispered. Lexa looked over to Indra, and then to Clarke, her eyes boring into Clarke’s eyes, and Clarke could see the Commander stepping into her role.

“Yeah, Indra, we do. Before things get real ugly. Tell the women to meet me in the gym at two o’clock. We have shit to squash before some ignorant fool starts something,” Lexa said.

And Clarke felt a thrill of fear for Lexa, and she also felt seriously turned on by seeing Lexa in Commander mode. Lexa was tough and serious, and it was seriously making Clarke feel the stirrings of want spring up. Would it be bad if she just kissed her right here? Clarke looked around at all the women and guards and realized that yes, it would be very bad. But she could still fantasize about it.

“I’ll be in laundry. Let me know what’s up when I’m done?” Octavia asked. 

Indra and Lexa nodded, and Octavia looked satisfied. So, Clarke mused, Octavia was now part of the gang. Well, it fit her personality. Squashing bullshit for the greater good of the prison seemed right up her alley. But she worried about the woman who was like an older sister to Clarke. When lunch was over and they got back to their cells—and ‘Tavia had headed off to laundry—Clarke cornered Lexa.

“I don’t know what’s going on, but keep yourself and Octavia safe, please,” Clarke begged.

Lexa gave a small smile and put an arm on Clarke’s shoulder. 

“I will. Nothing is going to happen because we aren’t going to let it. It’ll be fine,” Lexa assured her. 

Clarke wanted to cling to Lexa. To hug her and never let go because what she was getting herself into was obviously dangerous and it scared Clarke to her core thinking Lexa—or Octavia for that matter—could get herself hurt. And Lexa must have sensed the urgency and fear Clarke felt because she moved her hand to Clarke’s cheek and cupped it lightly for just a moment before dropping it back down.

“I swear, Clarke. We’re just going to set some newcomers straight. It’ll be perfectly okay. I’m a black belt. I wish someone would try and fight me. As long as I don’t throw the first punch I don’t get reprimanded.”

“Is there anything I can say to convince you not to do this?” Clarke whispered, and Lexa shook her head.

“I have to do this… and you have to let me.”

And then Lexa walked away, going to meet the other’s in the gym for whatever was about to go down, and Clarke felt like she was choking on fear.

~~

Clarke tried not to think about what Lexa might be up to. She tried to ignore the twisting of her stomach and the sweating of her palms, but Lexa was—possibly—her girlfriend, and what kind of partner would Clarke be to just let Lexa face this without her? Everyone left in their cell was chatting, but Clarke was sitting on her bunk pretending to read when she made the decision to go to the gym. Lexa couldn’t do this alone.

When Clarke entered the gym, she heard Lexa’s voice coming from the weights.

“And if Azgeda wants to traffic drugs, we have to remind them that Trikru is in charge, and we will _not_ allow that. This is our home, and we don’t need women dying from overdoses of heroin. So the first thing to do is strike at their leader. I say we shank her, remind her whose in charge. Anyone want to do it?” Lexa asked.

And this was who Lexa was. She was a warrior. A planner. A fighter. She took no names as she kicked anyone—and everyone’s—ass. She wasn’t about to let someone fuck her life in prison up. And all these women who were packed into the gym looked up to her as a leader. It blew Clarke’s mind. But what left her with a gaping jaw was how many women volunteered to do the shanking. One of them being Indra. 

“She is in my cell, and there’s no camera pointed at her bunk. Heda, let me do this. For you. For Trikru,” Indra pleaded.

And Lexa stood there a moment, observing Indra before she spoke. “And you’re sure you won’t be caught?”

Indra nodded. “I’ll do it in the middle of the night. Azgeda would never snitch to a guard. They think they can handle everything on their own. And I can do it without killing her. Put some fear in them. I can do this, Heda, let me.”

Lexa nodded. “Someone make a shank for Indra. Just don’t get caught. And all of you be prepared for a counter attack. If they’re smart there won’t be one. But if there is, we need to be ready. Everyone hit the gym as much as you can. We’ll come together Saturday in the library after noon. I’ll send word to each of you. That is all.”

The women slowly filed out, trying to not make it look like a rush. But Clarke only had eyes for Lexa. This woman who had wormed her way into Clarke’s life was declaring war on some rival gang-Azgida or something—and Clarke had to just let this happen. But what really got Clarke was that she wasn’t turning away from—or even thinking about turning away from—Lexa. No matter what this woman did, Clarke was putty in her hands. And that thought scared the hell out of Clarke.

~~~

“Clarke,” Lexa began, chin on Clarke’s bed. “I know you aren’t really reading that book. You’ve been on the same page for twenty minutes now. Can’t we just talk?”

Clarke sighed and wondered if continuing to ignore Lexa would work. If she even could. But Lexa was pouting and she looked so adorable that Clarke gave in and set the book down. Lexa was right, Clarke hadn’t been reading it. She had wanted to, but thinking about Lexa kept her so preoccupied that she kept forgetting what she had just read.

“Come to my bunk so we can talk?” Lexa half asked, and Clarke nodded. She hopped down and went to Lexa, sitting on her bed and leaning her back against the bars.

“Are you mad at me?” Lexa asked quietly.

And the answer? Clarke wasn’t too sure if she was or wasn’t. She thought Lexa was trying to be a martyr, and she tried to explain that to Lexa, which got a wry smile out of the other woman.

“Clarke… the women in this prison depend on me to keep it safe. I can’t just know someone will bring in a drug that could kill someone else and _not_ do something about it,” Lexa said softly. 

“Lexa,” Clarke said, leaning in towards the other woman so she could drop her voice. “You’re talking about _shanking_ someone!”

“Yes, I am. To save as many lives as possible. She will be okay. But the point will be made. I don’t want to watch my gang die. Half of them are addicts. They are all trying to better themselves. Some with education, some with just rehabilitation, but either way I cannot, and will not, allow them to die. Sacrifices must be made to preserve the safety of this prison,” Lexa explained. 

And Clarke wanted to argue. But really, what could she say to that? Lexa was trying to protect everyone, and that was admirable, even if Clarke didn’t agree with her ways. She could almost imagine what her mother would say if she found out about all this, but Abby wasn’t here day in and out. She didn’t understand prison politics. Hell, Clarke didn’t even really understand them yet.

“Why can’t you just tell a guard?” Clarke found herself pleading.

Lexa’s face went stony and she shook her head. “We don’t snitch. Even if there are more of Trikru than Azgeda. It goes against everything in this prison. If someone were to do that, they could add—at the least—ten years onto the sentence of everyone involved. They might be doing something dumb, but would you really want to have a whole gang in here ten extra years to create even more new members? No, this is the best way, Clarke.”

And Clarke found she couldn’t argue with Lexa’s reasoning, as much as she might want to. She sighed and closed her eyes, wondering just what she was supposed to think. She could hear her mom telling her to stay away from Lexa, and honestly that would be the smartest thing to do. But Lexa was bold and beautiful, and she made prison seem not so bad. Could Clarke really just ditch her?

And then ‘Tavia was a part of their group, so if Clarke quit talking to Lexa, she’d have to quit being friends with Octavia. That was not something Clarke was willing to do. Octavia was family, and Lexa was her possible girl friend. No, she had to see this through.

When she opened her eyes, Lexa was sitting there, knees pulled to her chest, looking nervous like she was scared what Clarke might do or say. She seemed so vulnerable, which was ironic given that she was The Commander. Did Clarke really make her feel vulnerable?

“I can’t walk away,” Clarke whispered.

Lexa brushed a piece of hair out of Clarke’s face.

“I would never do anything to get you hurt, Clarke.”

And deep down Clarke knew that. Which was why she found herself able to go along with everything. She would be safe with Lexa. Octavia would be looked after by all of Trikru—whatever the hell that was supposed to mean—and Clarke could just not join in on the gang aspect of it all. She only wondered how long she’d get to be impartial before someone did something that made her show her allegiance to Lexa.

“I worry more about you,” Clarke admitted.

Lexa smiled. “I know what I’m doing, Clarke. It will all be fine. Anyway, visitation is in two days. Are you excited?” Lexa asked.

And yes, Clarke was over the moon to see her mom and Marcus. And to finally meet Lincoln would be amazing. Hopefully they wouldn’t get a dick guard who complained about them all being together, but odds were the two families would be sitting together chatting with one another. Clarke told Lexa all this, who nodded while listening, completely absorbed in what Clarke was saying.

During all this, Octavia dropped their laundry off to them, very much unnoticed by Clarke who was so focused on Lexa, who had her hand resting on top of Clarke’s. Nothing more, because obviously everyone was there, but the feel of Lexa’s hand on hers still spread warmth through her body.

“Visitation will go great, Clarke, and anyone can sit anywhere as long as it doesn’t cause problems. So you should be completely fine. And your family can buy you snacks and sodas from the vending machine, so that is always a bonus,” Lexa explained.

“Does your sister visit you?” Clarke asked hesitantly, not knowing if she was allowed this type of information about Lexa or not.

“Yeah, she, uh, she does. It doesn’t usually go to well. She tries to convince me to get back into the life, which I am not willing to do at all. I know she means well, but I want more for my life than to be in and out of prison behind the Cartel. Eventually you will end up doing life in prison behind them, and that is the last thing I want. All she sees is the money. Which is amazing, but money isn’t everything. I guess that’s what my sister fails to understand,” Lexa explained while picking at a loose thread on her blanket while actively avoiding looking at Clarke.

“I’m sorry, Lexa. I know that can’t be easy, but I think you’re incredibly strong for standing your ground the way you are doing. Not many people get to walk away from that life,” Clarke spoke softly.

Lexa looked up, a small smile on her face as she tucked a strand of Clarke’s hair behind her ear. 

And as the silence lulled around them, Clarke felt at peace.


	12. Chapter 12

Friday came, and Clarke was less anxious now about class and more anxious about Saturday’s visitation. She wondered how it would go, and she was rather looking forward to meeting Lincoln.

She woke early Friday morning and had coffee with Lexa, sitting a respectable distance apart since today was Nyko’s day. He popped the cell door and ushered them into the day room, asking Clarke how she was doing, and just making over all small talk. Nyko was happy for Clarke that she had a visit Saturday, and he stood there for a moment, listening to her happily yammer on. Then he continued his rounds.

Class was easy. She finished the discussion in her Computer Basics class, which was nowhere near hard. She hummed under her breath as she did her work, thoughts straying to the upcoming visit she would have. She was so excited for it, and she wanted the day to fly by so she could go to bed and wake up tomorrow to her visit.

And fly the day did, though nowhere near as fast as Clarke would have liked. Before long it was time for bed, and Clarke settled down on her cot and went to sleep. When she woke up it was three in the morning, and Lexa was up, reading and drinking coffee.

Clarke took her eye mask all the way off and hopped off her bunk, getting her instant coffee mixture before going over to Lexa’s bed to use the hotpot. She poured water into her cup, stirred, and set it on Lexa’s nightstand before sitting down on the bed. Lexa gave her a sleepy smile, her fingers intertwining with Clarke’s, thumb rubbing circles into the palm of Clarke’s hand. 

And without planning it, they kissed for the second time, slow and sweet. It was an exploration of each other’s mouths, and Lexa tasted like coffee and cinnamon; it was euphoric. But before they could get further, Lexa broke it off, and Clarke knew why. Someone had just coughed, and it was possible there was someone else up. The last thing either one of them needed was to get caught, no matter how bad Clarke might want to take Lexa’s clothes off her body and have her way with the other woman.

“Excited for visitation?” Lexa asked quietly.

Clarke nodded. “I can’t wait to meet Lincoln, and I want to hug my mom so badly. I’ve missed her so much. Ever since my dad died, my mom and I have been so close. So being without her is hard. I’m used to calling her everyday after work at the local art gallery. I just… I want it to already be time, you know?” Clarke asked, and Lexa nodded.

“Visitation is the best day. It’s also the hardest. Watching them leave and knowing you can’t go with them sucks. But seeing your family and getting to spend two hours with them, and hold their hands across the table? It makes it all worth it,” Lexa explained.

“Do you have a visit today?” Clarke inquired.

Lexa shook her head no. “My sister doesn’t come too often as we usually fight about the life when she does come. I know she loves me, but we just want different things. So I have to love her from a distance, which is hard because we were always so close. She is my best friend. Or at least she was. Now… I’m not sure we will ever be close again,” Lexa whispered.

Clarke gripped Lexa’s hand firmly, and then pulled her in for a hug, wanting to take the pain that Lexa was feeling away. Clarke couldn’t imagine what she was going through. Clarke had no siblings, and she knew she’d be devastated if she lost her best friend, Wells.

Lexa rested her head on Clarke’s shoulder, arms encircling Clarke. For a minute or two they stayed just like that, until another cough brought them back to reality and they both slowly pulled away. 

They sat there, talking about Clarke’s family until breakfast. Lexa seemed eager to learn everything about Clarke that she could. When the lights came on, they got to their feet, Clarke draining her coffee and waiting on ‘Tavia to meet them outside the cell for breakfast.

Breakfast could have been mind blowing and Clarke wouldn’t have noticed. She and Octavia were practically bouncing in their seats over visitation. Indra shook her head, but she had a smile on her face. It was only then that Clarke remembered Indra would be shanking someone soon. It was like someone had dumped a bucket of icy water over her head. She was worried; for Indra, for Lexa, for everyone involved. But Clarke tried not to let her dampened mood show.

Showers were rushed, as everyone either went back to sleep or tried to hurry and get ready for visits, which started at ten o’clock. Clarke and ‘Tavia were close to first in the showers. Clarke wanted to enjoy washing her hair, but time was a luxury she didn’t have at the moment. It was a mad dash for everyone, and Clarke hurriedly finished and got back to her cell. 

And then ‘Tavia was in her cell, cup in hand, using Lexa’s hotpot and sitting on Lexa’s bed to talk to Clarke and Lexa, who didn’t need to rush to the shower as she didn’t have a visit.

“I cannot wait to meet your mom and step-dad and for you to meet Lincoln. It is going to be amazing. I probably am already too hyper for coffee, but I’m drinking it anyway. Gods, just to kiss my man will be an amazing thing!” ‘Tavia squealed excitedly.

Lexa laughed as she said, “Just remember, no making out or they will throw him out. Which I think is dumb. We’re here with no one to see but each other. If our significant other comes of _course_ we’re going to get excited and want a long kiss. But I guess that makes too much sense.”

They sat there talking, both Clarke and Octavia nervous and excited for their upcoming visits. Clarke was sure her anxiety was worse than Octavia’s at the moment, though they were both practically bouncing up and down.

Stephanie came in, brushing her hair vigorously and smiling. “It’s visitation day!” she exclaimed excitedly.

“Isn’t Kayla coming to see you?” Octavia asked, and Stephanie nodded.

“I’m so excited! I bet you two are both happy to see your peeps?” Stephanie asked, and they both nodded enthusiastically. “Awesome!” and Stephanie sat down on the floor after she grabbed a soda, and joined the conversation with the three of them. 

They all sat there talking, until a guard came over on the loudspeaker, calling Clarke and Octavia to the first round of visits. 

Octavia and Clarke were breathless as Lexa walked them to the visitation area, where they were both patted down by guards for anything they might be trying to slip their visitors. When they were deemed contraband free, Nyko came over, smiling at Clarke and Octavia.

“Both of you have visitors. Came together. Go ahead on in; I know you’re anxious to do so,” Nyko gruffly said.

Clarke and Octavia didn’t need to be told twice. They hurtled through the door. Octavia reached a tall black man Clarke assumed was Lincoln first, and he picked her up and spun her around, kissing her hard. For a second Clarke thought Octavia might cry, but then her mom and Marcus were hugging her fiercely, blocking Octavia and Lincoln from view.

Clarke gripped her mother tightly as she kissed Clarke on the top of the head, and Marcus’ arms encircled them both. Only when Nyko told them that hug time was over did they let go of each other. Apparently Octavia had still been hugging Lincoln, because they broke apart too, both coming over to Clarke. And then Lincoln was hugging Clarke and Octavia was being hugged by Abby. There was so much love in the room, Clarke wanted to cry.

Octavia led them all to a table, and both families sat down together with very little room separating them. 

“Clarke,” Lincoln began in a deep voice, “It is so good to finally meet you. Octavia talks about you all the time.”

Clarke smiled and said, “Well, you’re all she talks about to me half the time, so I guess it’s only fair.”

Lincoln chuckled, reaching for Octavia’s hand across the table. She grabbed his, and they sat there like that for a moment in complete silence, each staring into the other’s eyes.

“Clarke,” Marcus began, pulling Clarke’s attention from the love struck couple back to her own visitors, “It is so good to see you. You look great, all things considered. How is it here?”

And Clarke began telling Marcus that she had a good cell of women, and everyone so far had been super kind to her. She went on about morning coffee with Lexa—trying very hard not to blush—and how the education program wasn’t too hard. Marcus listened to her words intently like he always had, and reached a hand out to grasp hers.

“You’re doing good, kiddo. I know this isn’t easy, and your mom and I miss you like crazy, but I want you to know you don’t need to worry about us. We will be just fine,” Marcus said.

“Yes,” Abby began, “It’s you we worry about.”

Clarke gave a smile and reached her free hand out to her mom, who happily took it, squeezing lightly.

“You don’t need to worry about me. Really. Octavia here has my back.”

“Damn right I do,” Octavia interjected, “I won’t let anything happen to her. I swear, Abby, I will do everything in my power to protect your daughter. She is as good as family to me.”

Abby smiled brightly. “Thank you, Octavia. I’m so glad Clarke has someone like you to look after her. I worry about both of you.”

Octavia laughed. “I almost beat a guy twice my size to death. Nothing is going to hurt me. Plus, Clarke has the rest of the… group of us. We will always look out for each other,” Octavia explained. 

“That’s good to know,” Abby smiled at Octavia.

“So are you both in the same cell?” Lincoln asked.

“No,” Clarke answered, “She’s in the one next to me, separated by bars, but our bunks are both pushed up against the bars so we could talk all night and no one would know.”

“Have you done that?” Abby asked curiously.

Octavia laughed. “No, we haven’t. We both value sleep too much for that. But the point remains, we _could_.”

The families all laughed, and Stephanie entered the room, going for a very pretty redhead and kissing her like there was no tomorrow. Clarke brought her gaze back to her mom and Marcus.

“How’s work for both of you?” Clarke asked. 

Abby rattled on about how hard the hospital was working her, but it would all be worth it if she was made chief. She kept complaining about the interns, and how they were making incompetent residents, but Clarke knew how much of a perfectionist her mother was.

“Have they killed anyone?” Clarke asked, exchanging a grin with Marcus.

“Well, no, but they need to figure out tough cases more quickly,” her mother began before Clarke cut her off.

“You told me that comes with experience. Do they have a lot of experience?”

Abby sighed but said no, a smile tugging at her lips even though she pretended to be annoyed with her daughter.

“Which hospital do you work at?” ‘Tavia asked Abby.

“I work at Mount Weather,” Abby explained.

“Oh!” Octavia said almost jumping in her seat. “My brother Bellamy works there!”

Dawning comprehension came across Abby’s face and a hand flew to her face.

“He’s the most capable resident we have!” Abby raved, “I had no idea he was related to you! He’s been trying to pick up extra hours for a family emergency. He wouldn’t say what it was, but I suppose it was you. What a small world!”

Octavia was dying to hear how her brother was doing, Lincoln was content just holding ‘Tavia’s hands and chatting with Clarke. The visit was great, and Clarke felt so loved. She only wished Lexa could have been there for it.

“Two minutes!” Nyko called out and they all groaned, getting up and hugging. Marcus kissed both Octavia and Clarke on the tops of their heads, Lincoln hugged them, and Abby kissed them on their cheeks before they left.

And Clarke finally got what Lexa meant by this being the best and hardest day. As the families walked out, Clarke found herself trying extremely hard not to cry. ‘Tavia wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and guided her out of the visitation room, back to Lexa.

The prison was in an uproar. Apparently Nia had been shanked. Clarke supposed it was the woman Indra was supposed to take care of. The stench of blood was heavy on the air, and one of the dick guards was throwing everyone into their cells while screaming at them. Luckily Clarke and ‘Tavia got thrown into their own cells.

Lexa was sitting on her bed in full Commander mode. Indra was in there, too, sitting on the side of Lexa talking quietly under her breath. Every minute or two Lexa would nod at something Indra had said. Clarke feared for them. All of them.

“QUIET!” came Nyko’s voice, and the talking ceased immediately.

“Who did this?” Nyko asked, but no one said a word.

“This prisoner claims she was asleep when this happened and therefore cannot identify her attacker. Most conveniently her bed is out of view of the camera. If I ever find out who did this, that woman _will_ be sent to Max,” he threatened before walking around the prison.

Clarke’s heart was pounding, and as she stared at Lexa, she wondered if this was really a good idea. But then she thought of how soft Lexa could be. How sweet she had been to Clarke. How she was always there for her. And smart or not, Clarke couldn’t deny she had feelings for the other woman. This green-eyed goddess. Clarke felt a pull towards her like she’d never felt before in her life, and it scared the shit out of her. But it was too late to go back. Even thinking about it was painful.

No, Clarke was in this until the bitter end. She only hoped it wouldn’t require someone having to give their life.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! I have been dealing with health issues and having a LOT of fics on my plate at once. But, HERE IT IS! Please leave a comment if you liked it!

Clarke had been scared to approach Lexa the rest of Saturday. The prison was in an uproar, and Clarke thought it might look suspicious if she immediately rushed to Lexa’s side after someone got shanked. So at one in the morning, Clarke awoke and watched Lexa sleep, waiting for the other woman to wake up. She was beautiful. Her hair was falling over her shoulders in waves, and she was sleeping on her side, one arm under her tiny pillow. She seemed so at peace, though Clarke was sure if she went over to Lexa’s bed, Lexa would bolt upright. She was on high alert right now.

Clarke thought about her visit. About how kind Lincoln had been. How pretty that Kayla girl was that Stephanie was seeing. How amazing it had been to see her mom and Marcus. It had been like a little slice of heaven. She wished she could have had longer, but she was pleased with the time she did have. And what a coincidence that Octavia’s brother worked with her mom!

Clarke saw Lexa stir, and then slowly sit up. Clarke wasted no time in grabbing her coffee cup with the instant coffee already in it (prepped the day before) and heading over to Lexa. She couldn’t explain why, but she knew she just needed to talk to Lexa. Everything would be okay if she could just hold Lexa’s hand.

Lexa was pouring water into her hotpot, and she smiled at Clarke and patted the space beside her for Clarke to sit.

“Are you okay?” Lexa whispered.

“Yeah, just shaken up. But I’m more worried about you.”

“Why?” Lexa asked.

“You know why.”

Lexa gave a small smile and held one of Clarke’s hands tightly.

“Everything will be okay, Clarke. Don’t worry so much. We have a plan set up. I would never let anything happen to you,” Lexa promised.

Clarke sighed. “It’s not me I worry for. It’s our whole group. I don’t want any of them to get hurt.”

Lexa’s face brightened immediately when Clarke said ‘our whole group.’ It was as though she’d been waiting to hear Clarke say she was a part of her group, not just an outsider dragged in by her best friend.

“I will take care of everyone as best I can, Clarke. We’re just waiting for a counter strike from Azgeda… if there is one,” Lexa said, feeling her hotpot with the free hand that wasn’t holding onto Clarke, and deeming it not hot enough.

“What happens if they _do_ have a counter attack?” Clarke whispered, gripping Lexa’s hand all the more tightly.

Lexa thought for a moment before saying, “It depends on what it is. But there are more of us than there are of them, and they are very well aware of that. Don’t give it too much thought, or it’ll drive you insane. There’s nothing they can really do until Nia gets back. I’m sure they are aware of Indra’s part in this, but Indra is tough. She can fight with the best of them. Still, we’ll make sure she has added security from the other members. I got this, Clarke. Let me do what I do.”

And Clarke believed her. Because if anyone at all could have this situation under control, it was Lexa. Clarke had faith in her, and she couldn’t even say why she did. There was just something about the other woman that put Clarke at ease.

Lexa tucked a strand of hair behind Clarke’s ear with her free hand, and Clarke melted into the touch, eyes closing as Lexa’s hand went to cup her face. If Clarke were a cat, she most certainly would be purring at this very moment. 

“You’re beautiful,” Lexa whispered softly.

“Look whose talking,” Clarke replied, which caused Lexa to beam at her and pull her in for a kiss.

It was soft and sweet; no rushing. Just them taking their time. And Lexa didn’t even have morning breath. It was an exploration of each others’ mouth. And Clarke, without thinking, gripped Lexa’s hips with her hands, moving her hands up under Lexa’s shirt slowly, wanting to feel all of Lexa that she could.

Lexa’s skin was softer than it had any right to be. Her body was so warm, and she smelled like lavender. It was absolutely intoxicating. And she was biting Clarke’s lip which was driving Clarke up the fucking wall. She just needed more of Lexa. All that she could get of her really. And even still, it would never be enough. It would never satisfy the craving Clarke had for the other woman. A craving she had never had for any of her other exes. 

Something hit Clarke, and she pulled back frowning. The Lexa was pulling herself away from Clarke faster than the speed of light. Nyko was now in front of their cell, looking at Clarke’s bed puzzled until he saw her in Lexa’s bed, a respectable distance between the two of them. Clarke looked over at ‘Tavia, who was pretending to be asleep but had one eye open. 

Nyko popped the cell, and Clarke walked out with her coffee.

“It’s pretty late,” Nyko told her softly. 

Clarke said the first thing to come to mind.

“I’m just… I’m scared to sleep. I’m scared me or someone else will end up hurt. I just can’t get the smell of all that blood out of my mind and it’s just-”

Nyko cut her off. “I understand. You’ve never seen anything that violent have you?” he asked her.

Clarke shook her head. 

“I’m not supposed to allow this. It’s considered favoritism. But you take Woods with you so you feel safe, and you take a nice hot shower. Shave and all. You’ll feel better, and you’ll clear your head. Alright?” Nyko asked.

“Thank you,” she said sincerely, walking back into her cell and whispering to Lexa what Nyko had said.

The whole way to the showers felt like a dream. And then Lexa was pulling off their clothes, shoving them under the spray of hot water, and kissing every inch of Clarke who kept having to remind herself to be quiet. Lexa’s mouth was clearly a master at this. She neither bit too hard or sucked too long where anyone could see a mark. Her hand and mouth were working Clarke’s breasts, teasing her nipples, sending ripples of pleasure down between her legs.

As Lexa moved down further, kissing as she went, she paused to look up at Clarke.

“What do you want, Clarke?”

“You, please, Lexa, I need you,” she whispered loudly.

And as Lexa began, Clarke realized she had never been ate out by anyone as skilled as Lexa. Lexa who was teasing Clarke’s clit with her mouth and stroking Clarke’s g-spot with her hand. Lexa who was making Clarke wetter than even the running water could make her. 

When her orgasm tore through her, Lexa had to cover Clarke’s mouth with her hand it was so intense. She felt so wrapped up in Lexa. When Lexa pulled away, wiping her mouth, Clarke was confused. She wanted to touch Lexa. To give her the same pleasure Lexa had given her. 

“It’s been too long. Later, Clarke,” Lexa said and Clarke nodded, drying off with her legs still shaking before she put on her clothes. Together they went back to their cell, got into their respective beds, and as spent as Clarke was, she fell asleep immediately, images of green eyes and brown hair in her dreams.

When Clarke woke, it was to Lexa and ‘Tavia prodding her saying it was time for breakfast. She sat up groggily, wanting to lay back down and sleep. However she didn’t really want to miss breakfast, or the chance to stare unabashedly at Lexa. So Clarke hopped down from her bunk, slid her sandals on, and followed her two favorite people in the jail to the cafeteria.

“It’s waffle Sunday!” one woman yelled causing everyone to cheer. And the waffles were good. Clarke made a mental note to buy syrup from commissary next week. 

‘Tavia sneaked looks at Clarke all throughout breakfast, and Clarke was pretty sure the other woman was planning to ambush her after breakfast. She was the only person who could have thrown the paper at Clarke. Or at least the only person who would care enough to make sure Lexa and her hadn’t gotten caught.

“What’s Nyko doing here today? I thought this wasn’t his day?” Clarke asked curiously at the breakfast table with their group. 

Lexa shrugged, as did Indra. No one seemed to have an answer. Pretty soon Clarke was shrugging too and brushing it off as nothing more than coincidence that he had been there this morning. After what had happened yesterday it wasn’t a surprise more guards were on duty.

“Hey, Clarke,” ‘Tavia said as they dumped their trays. “Come with me to the showers since everyone else is going back to bed?”

It sounded like a request, but Clarke knew by Octavia’s eyes that it was a demand. She gathered her bath supplies (again) and went to take a shower (hopefully a real one now). 

And they did shower, at first, and then Octavia hopped onto the counter and stared Clarke down, watching the few other women that were in there before she leaned in to say, “You were reckless this morning!”

Clarke stared at her feet. She had been. It had probably been just as reckless to have Lexa eat her out, but damn it had scratched an itch Clarke didn’t even know she had had. Not hard enough, but enough that it was a little bit better. 

“You have to be careful, Clarke!” ‘Tavia hissed at her, and Clarke nodded.

“I’m serious! That can get you sent to solitary. Or worst case, get your sentence extended. And they would definitely move you to another unit to separate you two. I am trying to have your back here, but you have to think! At least check if anyone is patrolling before you get you bisexual on!” Octavia hissed in Clarke’s ear.

Clarke nodded. “I know I just… I didn’t think, ‘Tavia. She makes thinking hard,” Clark muttered.

“I don’t give a damn if she does or doesn’t. You _have_ to think! Please!” ‘Tavia pleaded and Clarke nodded. 

“I will, ‘Tavia. I’m sorry,” Clarke mumbled and Octavia sighed.

“I know. I just worry for you, kid. You could be out before me; I don’t want you to fuck that up.”

And Clarke knew logically that ‘Tavia was right. Was Lexa really worth extra time if they couldn’t even see each other anymore? But the emotional part of Clarke said it was worth it. And her pussy said it was a definite yes. Clarke brushed her hair, dealing with an inner monologue on what she should do. But in the end she knew she was putty in Lexa’s hands. Anyone that could make her have trouble walking after sex was good enough to keep around.

They walked back to their cells, Lexa absorbed in conversation with Indra. Once Indra saw Octavia, she beckoned her. Lexa shot Clarke a small smile that Clarke found sexy as hell, before she returned to whatever business they were discussing. 

“You good?” Stephanie asked from her bunk and Clarke nodded slowly. Stephanie patted her bed and Clarke sat down.

“It’s rough being here, I know. And it’s even crazier falling in love here. No, I am not judging you. I did just that. Look at Kayla and I. But you have to be careful, Clarke. It’s not worth more time over. Just look before you kiss. Or, if it’s the weekend and I can go back to sleep, wake me up and I’ll keep a lookout for you two. I’m surprised Lexa didn’t ask me to do that already, actually,” Stephanie said.

Clarke furrowed her brow in question, and Stephanie answered with, “She used to keep a lookout for me and Kayla. So of course I would do the same for her. Just… stop rushing. You’re here for a year. Let things happen naturally. I know how it is; you meet a woman, sparks fly, and you want to get right to the good part. But sometimes the good part comes with the waiting. Trust me. Now, you want to do a coffee shot?”

And Clarke found she couldn’t find a reason not to, so Clarke provided the coffee, and Stephanie provided the soda. They did two, back to back, before Clarke said she couldn’t take anymore. 

“So, how did you and Kayla… get started?” Clarke found herself asking.

Stephanie smiled, “Well, she was my bunkie, and one day we got to talking and we just realized we liked each other. We’d sneak kisses in here. She’s beautiful. And she thought I was too, for some reason. We were both in here for drugs, and she got me going to AA with her. Because they don’t have NA, so AA is a coverall. But yeah it just… fell into place. I cried so hard the day she left. It broke my heart. But then, three days later, I got a letter from her saying she was getting a job. She’s a computer programmer, and you know they make really good money, so she leased a two-bedroom apartment. She’s got all the furniture almost. I am really excited about getting out. I never imagined this would happen.”

By the time Stephanie was done talking, she was absolutely glowing. Stephanie was so happy just thinking about Kayla, and it was so adorable that Clarke couldn’t help but smile. She loved people in love. They were so open and honest and it was quite beautiful. Clarke especially loved older couples in love. Ones that had been together for decades. They were amazing. The love and dedication they had for one another was absolutely amazing and left Clarke awe-struck. She only hoped she’d be given that chance.

Glancing over at Lexa, she thought maybe she would be.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry about the long wait, but here it is! Enjoy, and feel free to send me Clexa prompts or asks about this story on tumblr @thatonewitchwhovapes

Clarke sat on her bunk drawing a picture. She wanted to give Octavia something. Something for her to remember Clarke by when she was gone. Clarke had long since memorized ‘Tavia’s face. So now she was sketching a picture of the two of them together. A hand-drawn selfie. And it was peaceful. Most of the ladies went back to sleep, the rest were in the day-room, and Lexa was in the day-room with ‘Tavia and Indra, their heads close together as they talked to each other. About what, Clarke had no idea, but it didn’t matter at the present. She was still riding high off a good orgasm from Lexa.

But at the same time, Clarke was worried. If people had started noticing her and Lexa, couldn’t that mean they might come after Clarke? And Clarke knew Lexa had promised she’d keep Clarke safe, but damn, what if she couldn’t? There was no way in hell Clarke wanted to get shanked.

Clarke glanced up from the drawing and towards Lexa, who was busy laughing. She seemed carefree. Should Clarke feel that way, too? She didn’t know how to feel. All she knew was that she felt an inexorable pull towards Lexa. One she couldn’t deny, no matter how much she tried. Lexa was like a magnet that kept pulling Clarke toward her.

“Hey,” Stephanie said, standing up to talk to Clarke on her bunk. “You good?”

Clarke shrugged, not really knowing what to say to the other woman. Was she good? Was she not? She didn’t know what she was at the moment. But Stephanie seemed to understand this, and she responded to Clarke’s unasked question.

“You’re worried about shit happening to you because of Lexa, huh?” she asked.

Clarke simply nodded.

“Well, I can tell you one thing. Don’t start shit, won’t be shit. Lexa’s gang will keep you safe, that much I am sure of. But if it really scares you, back off. Unless you don’t think you can?” Stephanie guessed again and Clarke nodded sadly.

“I get it. Trust me, I do. But just take each day as it comes. The best could happen or the worst could happen. But obsessing over it won’t help and will only give you really bad anxiety. So just chill. Go out there and sit with them, or have a coffee shot with me. It’ll be okay,” Stephanie promised.

Clarke thought for a moment and then nodded. Stephanie was right; there was no sense in worrying. It wouldn’t help her or anyone else in the least. So Clarke agreed to a coffee shot with Stephanie. She put the drawing up before she hopped down from her bed and got the coffee, Stephanie already offering her the soda to use for it.

“I don’t really drink soda unless it’s with coffee shots,” Stephanie said.

“I love soda. A mountain dew a day keeps the doctor away. Or something like that,” Clarke joked. 

Stephanie laughed, they clinked their cups, and Clarke downed her coffee shot, turning to look at the three women seated together.

“I think I’m going to go join them. You want to come?” Clarke asked and Stephanie shook her head no.

When she got to the table, she saw ‘Tavia was hard at work on a letter to either Bellamy or Lincoln. Which one, she wasn’t sure. She sat down next to her best friend, directly across from Lexa.

“Clarke, good, you’re here,” Lexa said in a brisk, business-like tone. “We have a plan to keep you protected. All three of us formulated it.”

Clarke nodded, wondering how they could have known that was the exact thing she’d been worried about.

“Octavia and I will walk you to and from class every day. On the days I work, Octavia will watch after you. No matter what, you won’t be alone. I know this seems rather crazy, but apparently word about… us… has gotten around, and I need to make sure you stay safe. And you will. I won’t let any harm come to you, no matter what. These are just precautions in case Azgeda gets anyone funny ideas. Though with Nia being gone I doubt they will. They take orders directly from her and her alone. Is this okay?” Lexa asked, her voice finally sounding concerned.

Clarke nodded, “Yeah, it’s fine. I guess this just makes things harder for us…”

Lexa reached across the table to grab Clarke’s hand. “It doesn’t have to. We just need to be more careful. Ask Stephanie, even the guards knew about her and Kayla, but without evidence, there is literally nothing they can do about it. It can work. It will work. I care about you,” Lexa said softly.

Clarke’s face lit up, and she smiled as she said, “I care about you, too.” 

More like love you, Clarke thought. But she really wasn’t ready to say that out loud. Was she really in love with Lexa? It was strange, fast, and unbelievably sudden. But she couldn’t help but light up every time Lexa even said so much as hi to her. 

“Who are you writing?” Clarke asked Octavia, changing the topic suddenly and abruptly as a guard passed by.

“Bellamy. He’s got some issues with responding, but I figured I’d try to at least write him and leave that door open. I mean, we haven’t been here that long, so I can give him some latitude. He’s my brother after all.”

For the rest of the afternoon, until dinner, the three women sat there talking to one another. When Clarke went to bed, she was already ready for an early morning. But damn, she would miss the weekend.

~~~

Clarke woke up at two in the morning. Lexa was still passed out, but she had given—or rather, let Clarke borrow—her book light so Clarke could work on her picture for ‘Tavia. She set to work, aiming the light away from ‘Tavia. She wanted this to be a surprise. She wanted to let ‘Tavia know how much she meant to her. It was weird having a female best friend, but it was also awesome. Clarke loved this girl to pieces, and even their families loved one another. It was amazing.

She put her whole heart into the drawing, glancing over at Octavia to make sure she had gotten the mouth just right or done her nose just right. And before her eyes, Tavia came into view, as fierce and wild in the picture as she was in real life. That was Clarke’s favorite part of a drawing. It was good to represent someone as they really were, and Clarke was never sure exactly how she managed it, but she did. 

When Lexa woke up at three forty-five, Clarke put the drawing away. She would add color later. For now, she was ready for coffee with Lexa. She hopped off her bunk and grabbed the already prepared mixture.

“Hey,” Lexa said sleepily. Clarke smiled.

“Hey yourself. Sleep okay?” 

Lexa nodded. “I was knocked out. But that’s not really a bad thing. I needed to sleep after everything that has happened these past two days. But it’s Monday, the beginning of a new week and a fresh start! How is your drawing coming?” she asked.

“Really well. I just need to add color, but it looks so good. I think I really captured ‘Tavia’s essence in this one, which I am absolutely proud of. Doing so isn’t always easy. But she has such an easy to read face,” Clarke explained, handing a bottle of water to Lexa to use for the hotpot. She figured it was her turn to provide water, as Lexa almost always did it. 

Without question, Lexa filled the hotpot with Clarke’s water. She plugged it in, her inmate number engraved on it like everyone else’s. It was standard protocol in case someone stole a hotpot or a fan or just anything else.

“You okay?” Lexa asked softly.

“Yeah, just bored. And today is class, so at least I’ll have something to do with myself for a few hours. Hopefully it’s not too easy and not too hard,” Clarke responded.

Lexa gave a small smile and tucked Clarke’s hair behind her ear as she said, “But if it wasn’t hard, would you really gain anything out of it? The fun is the challenge. Fail, try again, and repeat. So when you do get it, it’s an accomplishment.”

And of course, Lexa was right. She usually did when it came to things like this. Clarke found herself thinking maybe she should hope it was hard. 

“What book were you reading last night?” Clarke found herself asking.

“Oh, a fantasy book called Eragon. It’s part of a series and is extremely well written. My sister was into them, and she met the author and everything. She absolutely froze up, though, and couldn’t say a thing to the author when it was her turn in line. Pretty funny, really,” Lexa said with a small chuckle.

They sat there in comfortable silence until Lexa deemed the hotpot water hot enough to make them coffee. She poured the water into their cups and they stirred it with their spoons, just like they did every morning. It felt nice to have a morning routine with someone she cared about.

Love, the voice in her head sang, and Clarke had to push it away. It was much too soon to say she loved Lexa. They’d known each other a little over a week now? No, Clarke wasn’t going to say it or think it. She would let it be what it was for the moment.

They chit-chatted over their coffees, and when the cells popped ‘Tavia came in with her coffee cup mixture as well. Lexa poured her some, smiling at Octavia.

“I made sure to save enough for you,” Lexa told her.

Octavia smiled. “Thanks. I’ll probably go back to sleep after breakfast. Clarke, make sure you wake me up so I can walk you to class.”

Octavia took a gulp of coffee and gasped. “That was hotter than expected,” ‘Tavia said with watery eyes and a raspy voice.

Lexa and Clarke laughed quietly, not wanting to wake anyone else up. It seemed that no one could sleep this morning, though, as Indra wandered into their cell as well, coffee already made and a hug ready for Octavia.

“Is it a party in cell whatever this is?” Clarke joked lamely.

“More like we’re all too high strung to sleep,” muttered Indra, and Clarke knew what she was referring to. The shaking of Nia. Today would show if they were going to act off their own orders or not. Clarke felt a thrill of fear for the three women sitting before her, but she knew they would be alright. They had to be. They had become Clarke’s family. Even Indra, who seemed stern. She was loyal to the end, and that was all that mattered to Clarke.

Pretty soon the lights came on, and they were all trudging to breakfast, most people bleary-eyed except for the known inner circle of Trikru. They all seemed wide awake, and Clarke felt another shoot of fear run through her. But no one said or did anything. Everyone chatted quietly as they made their way to the cafeteria.

The food--breakfast tacos--was good. Everyone at their table seemed alert, while everyone else seemed tired. But maybe that was a good thing? It didn’t seem like anyone else was ready for something to pop off, so maybe the other gang wasn’t going to do anything today?

Somehow, after breakfast, Clarke ended up at the back of the shower line. Octavia stayed there waiting for her to finish, and they walked back to their cells together. Lexa was already immersed in a book. 

“So,” Clarke began to Tavia, “I’m drawing something special for you. A gift. And you aren’t allowed to see it until it’s done, but I am hoping like hell that you like it.”

‘Tavia laughed. “Clarke, with your talent, I’ll love anything you draw. Even if it is just a dick. But if it is a dick, make it like the prettiest dick you’ve ever seen, so I have some good porn to look over,” she teased and Clarke snorted.

Porn was not allowed. At least, not actual porn. But there were some companies—run by former inmates, no doubt—who would send highly suggestive pictures of men OR women, your choice. It cost though, and Clarke didn’t think she’d ever feel okay masturbating in this place where anyone could hear or see. She hadn’t even kissed Lexa this morning because of it. She was so damn freaking scared someone would see and say something.

When it came time for class, Octavia walked her there and told her she’d be back for lunch to get her and take her to the cafeteria. In the light of the week, it seemed so silly to be worried about what Nia’s crew might do. They were all too busy to do anything. Let them all do constructive things, for christ’s sake. 

The class was a little harder than usual. Clarke wasn’t great at math, and that was what she was currently working on. But as Lexa said, the fun was in the challenge.

Overall, the day passed quickly. When class was done with, Clarke felt fabulous, until someone collided with her in the hallway.

“You better watch your back,” the strange woman said.

“Oh yeah?” ‘Tavia said, standing her ground. “You gone do something then, little bitch?”

The woman rolled her eyes and walked away while Octavia shouted: “That’s what I thought!” Octavia was quick, however, to get Clarke back to her cell. She reported the incident to the beautiful Commander, who shook her head.

“Do you know her name?” Lexa asked.

‘Tavia shook her head. “But I could pick her out of a lineup, that’s for damn sure.”

Lexa nodded. “Let me know when you do see her again. We’ll just have to keep security around Clarke for now. I doubt they’ll try anything one on one, as they know we can kick their asses. And everyone here is scared of you, O, because you almost killed a guy.”

‘Tavia shrugged as if to say ‘oh well’. 

At dinner, Octavia did indeed point the woman out to Lexa, who explained who this chick was. 

“That’s Nia’s right-hand woman for the moment. Her name is Calliopea. She’s aggressive, but not much of a fighter compared to us. I think we have the upper hand for now.”

Indra nodded. “I heard through the grapevine that Nia comes back tomorrow, all patched up and medicated. We will keep close eyes on you, Commander, and Clarke. I know you can handle yourself, commander, but I’d rather be safe than sorry.”

Dinner passed, and when they got back to their cells, ‘Tavia and Indra went to hit the gym. Lexa said she’d stay, and Clarke knew it was for her own safety that she did so.

“What’s your favorite book?” Clarke asked Lexa as she sat down on the other girl’s bunk, a Mountain Dew in hand. She’d managed to get some ice during dinner and was happy to have a cold, refreshing drink.

Lexa thought for a moment. “That’s so hard! I have tons! How on earth am I supposed to choose just one?” she asked, laughing. 

The night wrapped up nicely, and Clarke fell asleep thinking that it had been a rather good day, all things considered. Hopefully, tomorrow was just as good. But Clarke knew Lexa feared Nia coming after her instead of Lexa.

I won’t let her, was Clarke’s last thought as she popped her earplugs in and pulled her eye mask over her face. And then she was out like a light.


End file.
